No, Dan, No
by thesillymillipede
Summary: Olivia Claire Oswald lives with Dan Howell and Phil Lester. Life is bloody fantastic and the only things that's wrong is that everyone ships her with Dan, even Dan. But maybe she doesn't object to that.. (T For Language only. Maybe a few kisses and minor violence)
1. Chapter One: Dan, Dan the Poetic Man

CHAPTER ONE: Dan, Dan the Poetic Man.

My name is Dan Howell and I live with my two best friends Phil Lester and Olivia Oswald.  
I didn't know that Olivia still knew I existed, she appeared from nowhere and pulled me along dragging me into her world again.  
I brought her back to my flat and there she stayed, I knew Phil didn't mind cause you couldn't help but love her  
I don't tell anyone but I cried when she left in year 9 and Buxton is long way from where I lived so I never saw her again.  
I missed the way her hair hit me in the face when she turned round to tell me off.  
I love the way she's still not used to her height and is still tripping over her gangly stick legs.  
I think it's brilliant how even when its bloody cold she still rolls up her sleeves so you can see the piles of colourful bracelets looped around her wrists.  
It's cute when she's deep in thought and her tongue pokes out.  
I can't believe that she stills buys all her socks from M&S kids section.  
I think its ridiculous that she spends every Sunday in that ridiculous onsie.  
It's stupid the way she won't go to sleep without her cup of tea  
It's amazing the way she stills laughs at every episode of the Vicar of Dibley in the boxset she got when she was 12.  
I never tire of the days that she packs us all into her car and brings us for picnics at her favourite places.  
I admire the way she can run through a field like a 5 year old without a care in the world.  
I know that she's truly beautiful when she smiles and her eyes crinkle and the lone dimple by her mouth appears.  
It's typical the way that in 11 years of cutting her own hair she never fails to screw it up.  
I'm certain that the whole world knows she is legendary when she appears from nowhere with the biggest smile on her face, the wind in her hair and a bounce in her step.  
If I could change one thing, it would only be that she believes me when I saw she's got so much to offer the world.  
But I love her and I never want her to change cause then she won't be my Olivia.  
But I know her too well and she will never change she will always be my _Olivia Claire Oswald_.


	2. Chapter Two: Dan the Stalker

"No, Dan, you cannot give me shit for leaving the house in a onsie!"  
"But onsies are like so last year." Dan replied. I laughed.  
"Oh brilliant one there, considering last year was less than a day ago."  
"Well I'm not being seen in public with you then," Dan replied, folding his arms.  
"Dan it's Tesco and its 5 in the morning." I whined. "I could be raped or get hypothermia!"  
"Oh right fine then!" I threw on a hoodie and a leather jacket, slipped into my converses and shut the door behind me. I took the lift down and stepped into what was probably the coldest night ever.  
The Tesco was only round the corner but it was dark as fuck and i practically walked into a lamp post.  
The shop was small and terribly lit, a greasy haired lady sat at the counter. I collected all the stuff on the list that Phil had given me and the lady threw into two plastic bags and shuffed me out the shop. I walked round the corners of London, unsuprisingly the streets were icy and I couldn't help but walk really carefully.  
I spotted a particularly icy patch and hopped along to slid across it. Unfortunately shopping bags are heavier than you think and tend to throw you off balance. My foot slipped and I was headed toward the ground until someone appeared from nowhere and pulled me back up.  
"Excuse me but who the hell are you?" I said, turning to look at the dark figure.  
"That's no way to speak to someone who just saved your life!" A recognisable voice replied.  
"Dan, have you been following me?!"  
"Well we can't have you being raped, who would go at get food for us at 5 in the morning?"  
"Nobody." I answered. "But now you're here, beer is heavier than you think." I shoved a bag in his direction and walked towards the building.

"So I'm guessing Dan isn't a very good stalker then?" Phil asked, when we walked through the door together.  
"Oh no he's alright, it's just he can't help himself from saving a fair maiden who's just slid over."  
"Well it was more that you were going to drop the beer," Dan corrected, I punched his shoulder and flopped across the sofa.  
He sat down next to Phil, "Thanks for leaving me room on the sofa Ols!"  
"Your welcome!"  
Phil was on YouTube, as per usual and Dan seemed to be laughing his head off at something Phil had found. Naturally, I twittered the cute pictures to indulge the phangirls.  
"Aww, isn't Phan cute?" I snickered.  
"Oh god, Phil we're living with a fangirl!" Dan looked horrified.  
"Run like the wind bullseye!" Phil shouted. Dan lifted Phil onto his back and ran out of the room.  
"OOOWWWW" Phil shouted. I jumped up and ran out see Phil lying on the floor and and doubled over in laughter.  
"What the fuck did you to to him?" I asked.  
"Nothing, he just banged into the doorframe." Dan explained. Phil whimpered and rubbed his head.  
"Aww Philllyyy! Does your head hurt?" He nodded.  
"Then you should go to bed and sleep it off, you'll be right as rain in the morning!" I picked Phil up and lead him to his room.  
"Night Phil." I shut the door.  
"Fuck, Dan!" I jumped as turned around to see Dan towering over me.  
"Do I get to be tucked in?" He pouted.  
"No, you're a big boy now." I replied.  
"but I hurt my back!"  
"Then you shouldn't be carrying around big 26 year olds on your back!"  
He ran over to his room, "PWEEAASSEEEE!"  
"Fine, come on!" Dan started stripping off. "Oh please have some decency!"  
"okay!" He jumped into bed and winked suggestively.  
"I'm leaving, you've ruined all chances of getting tucked in." He stuck his tongue out as I the door.


	3. Chapter 3: Olivia the Camera Man

** let's just pretend that we heard giggling in the video, okay?**

When I woke up in the morning, I woke to see a pair of brown eyes and a pair of blue, like my own, staring back at me.  
Naturally I flipped my shit.  
"Good morning little one..." Phil said creepily, widening his eyes.  
"I'm taller than you." I grumbled sleepily. I stood up and Phil rested his elbow on my head. "Oh, I forgot I was living with the two tallest people in England."  
I grabbed my dressing gown from the back of the door and stomped into the kitchen and plopped myself down at the breakfast bar.  
"What would Madame like for breakfast?" Dan asked.  
"It's Mademoiselle!" I replied cheekily with a wink.  
"A bowl of Shreddies and some OJ it is then!" I had my food practically thrown at me from the other side of the kitchen.  
I rubbed my eyes and noticed that Dan's shirt was like 3 sizes too small.  
"Dan, are you wearing your school uniform?"  
"You noticed.." Dan winked and lifted the hem higher up his stomach.  
Phil made a vomiting noise from the sofa, "Stop flirting." He retched.  
"NEVVVAAARRR!" Dan cried and almost tripped over his set up camera.  
"Don't break the damn camera Dan!" I said.  
"Of course ma'am." He saluted.  
"Are you going to make the video or not, cause I want to use the living room too." Phil whined.  
"Didn't they want you to film outside?" I asked him. He hurumphed over to the window and opened the curtain.  
"Have you seen outside?"  
"Yes... I do have a window." I retorted with a grin.  
"Oh for fuck's sake come on then!" He picked up the camera and opened the door.  
I ran into my room and chucked on my jeans, socks and boots. I grabbed my coat and beanie and went back out.  
"Don't you look amazing in the mornings?" Dan said.  
"I always look amazing, don't I Phil?" I looked over at him, he looked horrified.  
"Don't get me involved!" He protested. Dan handed me the camera and stalked off outside.

I flicked on the camera. Dan was standing there complaining and rubbing his hands.  
"Oh yeah Dan, why not film your next video outside? Great idea!" He said sarcastically. I smiled and let him continue. He took a massive breath of air and breathed out like a dragon.  
"Soo, okay I'm freezing my tits off we're going inside!" I laughed as he took the camera off me.

"The the whole filming outside thing didn't work?" Phil asked, still holding his cup of tea.  
"No, he was 'freezing his tits off' apparently." I replied, dumping all of my stuff on the coat stand I bought at a carboot sale. The boys thought it was a waste of space but I liked it, it reminded me of the one in the old Tardis. Neither Phil nor Dan saw the resemblance.  
Dan was setting his camera stuff up, he sat down to film and began talking to the camera.  
"Dan you're still wearing your school uniform." I pointed out.  
"Bollocks!" He cried and came back a few moments later wearing normal clothing.  
We sat around for a while waiting for Dan to finish when he came out demanding that one of us film him being an arse.  
"You know I've got a old school dress somewhere you can borrow." I suggested.  
"That won't be necessary." Dan replied.  
"Oooohkay!" I went off to make a cup of tea.

The next I saw Dan was about one o'clock in the morning. I went in with the intend to hope he gets some sleep but he never listens.  
"When the video has uploaded, go. to. sleep. kay?" I said, shutting the door behind me.

Next morning, in bed I was left to myself so I managed to watch the finished product of all Dan's hardwork.  
I could hear myself laughing in several of the shots. People in the comments had obviously heard me too.  
'Is that Olivia laughing in your video? or else Phil sounds very girly...'  
'Dan, did you get a girlfriend or who is that chick laughing in your video.'  
'Why doesn't Olivia get a youtube? She sounds hilarious from all twittering.'  
'So is Olivia the new camera man?'


	4. Chapter 4: Olivia the Secret Truth Giver

"Dan I should totally be your new camera man!" I chirped sarcastically from behind him as I saw him read the comment I had before.  
"Or not. Some of your laughing was impossible to edit out." He replied, shaking his head.  
"I can't be that hard to run a youtube channel!" I exclaimed taking a sip of tea.  
"You should!" Phil said.  
"I'm sure the internet would love to get to know the other nutter that lives with us." Dan said flippantly.  
"I'm slightly less nutty than you,"  
"Not buy much though, Phil's probably nuttier than you though!" Dan laughed at his own joke.  
"Hey!" Phil shouted and chucked a pillow at Dan.  
"It's alright Phil you aren't as nutty as your mum was in bed last night!" Dan replied, I spat tea all over Dan's head when I heard what he said.  
"That's karma Dan." Phil said as Dan tried to wipe the tea off his head.  
"I'm going to have to wash now!" Dan whined and lollopped off to the bathroom.  
I took Dan's vacant place on the sofa and picked up his laptop.  
"Let's see what Dan's hiding." I muttered.  
I went through his tumblr, posted a couple of text posts, reblogged some random stuff.  
I went through his twitter, tweeted something, replied to some of his mentions, changed his wallpaper to Nicki Minaj's arse.  
I went through YouTube, replied to some comments.  
Found the music for 'Wow, I can get sexual too!" and commented, 'Ooogmmgg fav song like noww, I wank myself to sleep wit dis 3333'  
I opened the webcam and clicked record.  
"The truth about Dan. dun dun dun! Dan is in the shower and you may not know this but... he likes the shower a lot."  
"Why is he in the shower you ask? Because I spat tea on his head after he made a your mum joke to Phil. Typical Dan eh?"  
"Phil is doing something freaky in his bedroom, so he could be gone a while." I winked suggestively.  
"I'm very sorry that this is a crap quality video it's just I can't be bothered putting some effort into a prank video."  
"Now for the interesting bit, the stalker video of Dan's room." I opened Dan's door to a shithole.  
"Now Dan says he's pedantic about symmetrical things and that he's all OCD but this is the truth, he doesn't mind it being a shit hole, as long as its an ordered shit hole."  
"This is Dan's drawer full of games that he doesn't want people to see."  
"This is the High School Musical DS game I bought him last year for his birthday, he says he plays it ironically but he doesn't."  
"Ah ha! The stash of things he's stolen from me, lush chocolate lip scrub, he likes this because its basically sugar and he just eats it."  
"There should be malteasers around here, somewhere." I stuck my hand behind his massive Mac and pulled out a big bag of malteasers.  
"And voila!" I heard the water shut off.  
"Bollocks!" I muttered.  
"Right well the waters shut off and Dan will probably come raging in any moment so Farewell Danosaurs, happy stalking!"  
I uploaded the video to YouTube as quickly as possible and sat down on the sofa as if nothing had happened.  
"WHERE ARE MY MALTEASERS?" Dan shouted from his bedroom.  
"Dunno!" Me and Phil shouted in unison.  
"Somebody stole them!" He said charging into the living room.  
"Dan, do you seriously need to eat malteasers as soon as you get out of the shower?" I asked.  
"If I find out either of you has something to do with this, you're both dead. THAT INCLUDES YOU TOO PHIL!" Dan said.  
"Huh?" Phil said, walking in with a confused expression. Dan left the room angrily.  
"Oh I went into his room, stole his malteasers, made a video and posted it to YouTube." I explained.  
Phil held out for high five, I obliged and he walked off.  
Danosaurs were right on the ball, there was already a billion damn comment and likes and views.  
'Oh Olivia you legend!'  
'Thanks for the truth about Dan Howell 3'  
'hehehe *an ordered shithole* I laffed my arse off :)'


	5. Chapter 5: Creepy Stalker Girls & Pizza

**Creepy Stalkers Girls and Pizza Express**

"Olivia Claire Oswald. go get us some hula hoops are make your own frickin channel!" Dan shouted.  
"Well I couldn't object to Hula Hoops can I? I'll be back in a tick!" I answered hopping out the door before Dan got really picky.  
I was just strolling down the streets, up and around, everywhere. I found life, it was one of those mini Marks&Sparks. I picked up a couple of sandwiches, malteasers, ginger beer for all, crisps and an obligatory bag of Percy Pigs.  
Me, being a massive twat, put my sunglasses on, like a pro and left the shop.  
I noticed a few girls looking at me from across the park. I took my sunglasses off to get a better look, they ran over immediately.  
"You're that girl!" One of them said.  
"I am a girl, glad you noticed." I replied. They laughed nervously.  
"You hacked Dan's channel?" Another asked.  
"It was fairly easy!" I answered.  
"Oh so you're his girlfriend then?"  
"Oh definitely not." I corrected very quickly.  
"Are you going back to your flat?" A the first girl asked looking very creepy.  
"Ehhhh..." I stuttered, sensing a potential stalker. I pretended my phone vibrated.  
"Oh sorry, one second." I grabbed phone and punched in Dan's number.  
'Creepy girls at park. Asking where we live. Help please?' I sent the text and put my phone away quickly.  
"Was that Dan?"  
"Yes, it was." I answered.  
"Can we talk to him?"  
"Sorry, I think he's a bit busy now." I lied. I pulled my phone out again.  
'Take a detour otherwise they'll find out the direction.' I shot off a text.  
I saw Dan from the corner of my check his texts at the corner of the street. He awkwardly swished around to come from the other direction. He walked up behind the girls.  
"If you'll excuse me, I really have to go." I gave them all a little pat on the shoulders and hopped/jogged/skipped awkwardly towards Dan.  
"Turn around." I hissed. I linked my arm through his and walk round the corner but not before I saw a flash of a camera phone go off.  
"WELL.. that was creepy." I breathed.  
"If their 'Danosaurs' why the fuck did you call me?" He asked.  
"They were terrifying, I thought they were going to kidnap and torture me until I gave up all your personal details." I replied.  
"Fair play." He sighed and leant against a wall, "I think they're still following us." He peeked around a corner. They saw his face briefly and their eyes widened.  
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."  
"Err Starbucks, it had two exits and lots of people!" I suggested and took off.  
We literally jumped into Starbucks and got pulled into the mass of people. I emerged from the other end and Dan pulled me out the door he'd just exited. We dashed into the apartment and up the stairs.  
"Phil, we have a problem." We announced dramatically.  
"What?" He looked really worried.  
"Stalkers." i said flopping onto the sofa. "Cornered me at the park."  
"Can we leave the house? Phil asked.  
"We better be able too, I have work to go to!" I exclaimed. Dan came out with 3 cups of tea.  
"We're British, this is how we deal with trauma."  
"That and tutting." I added.  
"Oh come on its not that bad!" Phil cried.  
"I dunno guys it's your first stalker!" I said, "We should throw a party!" I suggested.  
"Suree..." Dan looked dubious.  
"You of all people I expected to get the sarcasm." I replied.  
"It's a sarcasm-ception because I was also being sarcastic!" He shouted.  
"Twat." I muttered and opened my laptop.  
Just scrolling through twitter when I see, 'Lovely to meet Miss Olivia Howell-Lester today, she was very nice and utterly gorge! MissOlivia'  
The girl had also tagged me in her next tweet which was linked to a youtuber themed news blog.

' Today I had the pleasure of meeting Olivia, who currently lives with the Internet stars Dan and Phil (danisnotonfire and amazingphil, respectively) I was out and about on this morning in London when I saw her coming out of a Marks and Spencers. I recognised her from the hack video she posted of Dan's channel a few days ago.  
Olivia is very elusive and all we currently know is that she lives with Dan and Phil and that her first name is Olivia. We only discovered what she looked like a few days ago.  
Since many of you probably don't know she had long curly reddy brown hair and blue eyes exactly like Phil's. Again she is quite pale and tall, we surmised she is about 5"9" or 5"10" from the comparison of our heights and her's to Dan's (which I'll talk about a soon.) My friend, Katie, was with me at the time and she commends her sense of fashion highly. On a morning run to the shops can be a difficult thing to style for but Katie thinks she did well. She was wearing and long striped graphic t-shirt, black leggings, white lite converse and a pale pink corduroy blazer with rolled up sleeves. She also had a pair of Ray-Ban aviators and a red satchel. Also carrying a Marks and Spencer Bag for Life full of sandwiches and crisps. During our conversation she got a text from Dan, we were unable to talk to him but Olivia ran off with a tall, dark haired man we later found to be Dan. [insert picture of Dan and Olivia with linked arms] We are unsure about whether or not they are dating but from the photographical evidence there is no doubt they are comfortable acting like a couple. The last we saw of them was in Starbucks. We hope to see more of Olivia soon!  
So Phan girls what do you think of Dan's new could-be love? Leave your comments? '

"There seems to be a Tumblr article about me?" I asked to no one in particular.  
"Is it that news blog?" Phil asked.  
"londonyoutubersightings "  
"That's the creepy one!" Dan said. "They followed Jack around for a whole day."  
"That is creepy!" I agreed, "But anyway I've got a whole article. Creepy thing is its written like a professional article. I worried what the comments say.."  
"Don't worry twitter thinks you're pretty!" Dan said, looking up from the laptop.  
"And how does twitter know what I look like darling?" I replied.  
"Creepy girls!" We all said at the same time.  
"Anyways, Peej and Chris are coming for the weekend and I told them they could stay in your room Dan."  
"My room?" He pouted.  
"Yes. Your room." Phil insisted.  
"We'll probably get Pizza Express for dinner." Phil announced.  
"You know you can't go to Pizza Express tonight!" I said.  
"Why?" They both asked.  
"Because I work there!"  
"That's even more reason!" Dan said wickedly.

I changed into a black long sleeve shirt and black skinny jeans with black hi-top converse, shoved on my orange duffel coat and pulled on my red beanie, grabbed my bag and apron and set off for work.  
I knew Dan was going to drag them along to Pizza Express just so they could watch me work, the bastards.  
I threw all my stuff on the staff hooks and set to work.  
"Oi! Olie!" Arthur, my best friend, shouted.  
"What?"  
"There letting us off early!" He cried.  
"Really? Weehey!" I did a little jump and spin.  
The boss walked past importantly, "Get to work." He said with a smile. We saluted and heading off to our parts of the restaraunt.  
It was mainly dull, just serving and taking orders until I saw them. Phil was looking smug and Dan smirked as he slid into a table near me.  
"Waitress!" He said, annoyingly. I walked over.  
"Can we please have 2 cokes, a diet coke and a.."  
"Sprite!" The man who could only be named Chris finished.  
"Sure thing!" I said unenthusiastically.  
"That's sir to you!" Dan corrected.  
"Sure things sir!" I spat out painfully. As I walked away all I could hear were stifled giggles.  
I brought them back their drinks and placed them 'delicately' on the table.  
"We'd like to order now please!" Dan asked, "We'll have two Americans, one margherita and a American hot, if that's no trouble?"  
"No trouble at all you smug bastard, no trouble at all!" I walked back the kitchen and gave them the slip.  
"Do you know those blokes?" Arthur asked.  
"I live with them." I answered.  
"All four?" He asked incredulously.  
"Just the ones with the matching haircuts." I corrected.  
"Ah, I see them."  
"Olivia, can you reboot the WiFi system?" A random chef asked.  
"Do I look like an IT man?" I muttered walking off the the machine.  
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" PJ shouted in an irish accent.  
"Thank you for your input random customer!" I shouted back sarcastically.  
"No problem!" Dan replied.

I grabbed their pizzas and slid them onto the table. "Dicks." I breathed and walked back.  
The boss grabbed me with one arm and Arthur with the other.  
"I'm letting you off early, I'm sure Arthur told you." I nodded, "You can go, if you tell me who those men are?" He pointed at the group.  
"You mean small boys?" I corrected, "Sorry, I live with them, my best friends."  
"Oh that's okay then! You can go." He let go and I grabbed my stuff and sat down next to PJ and Dan.  
I grabbed a slice of Dan's pizza and took a bite from the crust.  
"You eat pizza backwards?" The one whose name I decided was Chris asked. I'd never met Chris before but he seemed familiar.  
"It's you! From Manchester?" I exclaimed. "We sat next to each other on the train into Manchester every Saturday!" I knew I recognised him.  
"That doesn't excuse from eating pizza backwards!" He retorted. I laughed and took another large bite, just to annoy him.


	6. Chapter 6: Hot Showers and Confession

**Hot Showers and Confession**

We got back the flat, soaking wet from the torrid downpour of rain that decided to fall on our way back.  
Arthur came with us as his car wasn't working. We all crowded into the landing before the staircase. Dan was having a minor heart attack from all the running. Phil was telling him to get a grip. PJ was patting his jacket. Chris was playing with his hair and Arthur was looking, wet.  
I put coat on the coat stand and walked up the stairs.  
"I shotgun the shower!" I shouted, dashing around the landing to the bathroom.  
"No you fucking aren't." Dan replied, running after me.  
"Come on guys!" Phil sighed. "You both take forever!" He whined.  
"Why don't you shower together?" Chris suggested, suggestively.  
Dan plonked down the stairs with a sad face.  
"She beat me." He said.  
"That's more incentive to go to the gym." PJ said.  
"No." Dan said, stalking off to the lounge.

I was in the bathroom with practically everything I own. I turned up the water to almost scalding and stepped in. I washed my hair, used a bit o Lush shower gel, rinsed off and got out. I wrapped a towel around me and looked around the bathroom for the hair dryer. I decided that it wasn't there and tip toed across the hallway. I peeked my head round the door frame into the living room.  
"Boys where is the hair dryer?" I asked.  
"Erm, it's in Dan's room." Phil replied.  
"What the fuck is it doing in there?" I cried and walked off.  
I could vaguely hear Chris say something along the lines of "You've got a naked girl walking round your house!"  
"More specifically in your room, Dan!" PJ added.  
"OI!" I shouted and continued along to grab the hair dryer.

I dried my hair and got changed into some dry jeans and jumper. I had my socks from M&S on, one stripey, one flowery. I put my slightly damp, but mostly dry hair in too plait and went back into the living room.  
"Damn, she's wearing clothes!" Chris muttered loudly.  
"I'm not a stripper."  
"You did walk into a room of 5 men naked." Dan said.  
"1. I was wearing a towel and 2. This my fucking house."  
"It's their house as well," PJ pointed to Dan and Phil.  
"But they make videos on YouTube of themselves being stupid for rent and I actually go and work."  
"YouTube is a much better job than a waitress." Dan argued.  
"Let's not forget who actually has a University degree!"  
"And what the fuck have you done with a computer science degree?" Dan asked.  
"Fixed your computer." I said. Ending the argument.  
"She's got you there, mate!" Chris said.  
"Go on then, move your arse over and make room for the live in technician!" I squidged in between Arthur and Dan.  
"I'm going have my damn shower." Dan got up and left.  
"So Dan, eh?" Arthur said.  
"Er no."  
"Err yes!" Arthur, PJ and Chris said.  
"Arthur!" I exclaimed.  
"What?"  
"Why are you siding with them?"  
"Because they are right."  
"PJ!" I whined.  
"Why me?"  
"Come on peej! We're like family!"  
""What do you want me to do?"  
"Tell them to stop being ridiculous." He shrugged.  
"He did admit it himself." Phil piped up. "Well, practically."  
"Since when?" I scoffed.  
"Um, when you were in the shower." Arthur said  
"When were were at Pizza Express." PJ said.  
"When we was filming twister." Chris added  
"That time you went to visit your parents, he slept in your bed." Phil finished.  
"He slept in my bed?!" I cried.  
"Who slept in your bed?" Dan popped his round the door frame and asked.  
"My brother in Buxton." I replied quickly.  
"Why are you such a fantastic liar?" Phil asked.  
"It's a talent, and also I'm not ridiculously nice like you." I answered.


	7. Chapter 7: iPhone Evidence

**iPhone Evidence**

I woke up in the morning with Dan's arms wound closely around me. It felt weird but not completely objectional. I tried to shrug Dan's arm off gently without waking him up.  
"You can shrug him off all you like, we've already got decent pictures." Chris said creepily from a corner of my room. I glared at him.  
"Where are the others?" I hissed. PJ and Phil popped there heads from beside the door.  
"Arthur left 10 minutes ago, he got a picture." Phil informed me.  
"That's nice."  
"Eh, where am I?" Dan asked, groggily.  
The boys took there phones out and showed him the pictures.  
"Twats!" He said, shaking his head.


	8. Chapter 8: Sleepy Forest Explorers

**Forest Adventures and Sleepy Olivias**

Dan's POV.

I don't like her, I don't like her, I don't like her.  
She's my best friend, She's my best friend, She's my best friend.  
She doesn't like me, She doesn't like, She definitely doesn't like me.  
I definitely don't like her, I definitely don't like her, I definitely don't like her.  
Oh, who am I kidding I like her.  
I fucking like her.  
She's going to have to go, I can't live with her and wake up every morning not being able to slip my arms around her waist and pull her close and play with her hair and kiss her neck.  
I can't go to bed knowing she's just on the other side of the wall sleeping alone, or worse with another man.  
I can't see her walk through that door with another man, that would kill me.  
She could do so much better than me. I'll have to leave.  
I'll leaving, I'm leaving, I'm going.

I got up out of bed and walked into the kitchen. I saw them all lying over each other, Olivia had her head thrown back in laughter at something PJ said. Her legs lying across him and Phil's. Chris was playing on his iPhone, I could see he was taking a picture. I must ask him to send it to me.  
I sat down next to Chris and pinched a bit of cereal from his bowl.  
"Good morning lover boy!" Chris chimed, I gave him a crafty elbow to the ribs.  
"Ooh sensitive." He sang mockingly.  
"Boys, you need to get ready I'm taking you somewhere." Olivia announced.  
"Where Ols?" Phil asked.  
"On an adventure!" She replied with a grin. She jumped off the sofa and appeared a few minutes later fully dressed with her coat and beanie on, holding her iPhone and what looked like a camera shaped bulge in on the the large pockets in her navy blue coat.  
"Come on!" She said. I pulled my self up and forced my self to get ready.  
I strode back to the door where everyone was waiting.  
"Finally." Phil sighed. He chucked my wellies at me, "We're leaving." We all set off towards Olivia's car with our wellies in hand. I noticed she had a picnic and a rug in the boot as well our wellies but I didn't mention it and got in. PJ had shotgunned the front seat and Olivia was driving, so Chris, Phil and I were squished in the back.  
We were way out in the English countryside before one of us even thought to turn on a camera.  
PJ pulled his out and started vlog.  
"I am currently sat in Miss Ollie Oswald's car, you might know her as Dan and Phil's flatmate, who I also have in the car with me along with the delightful Crabstickz." He shoved the camera in our faces that we waved at. "So Miss Oswald where are you taking us today?"  
"It's a surprise PJ!" She answered gleefully.  
"We've been driving for an hour now, all I can fathom is that we're heading towards Hampshire."  
"I can tell you that this is a very special place to me. I spent my childhood running round these woods, when I wasn't running round forests with Dan in Berkshire or running round woods in Buxton." She hinted.  
"Oh!" I gasped. I knew where we were going.  
"Do you know Dan?" PJ asked.  
"I think, was this the place where you saw the pig and the grandparents?" I said.  
"Correctamundo!" She cried.  
"Never say that word again." Chris said. PJ flicked off his camera.  
Olivia pulled up in a small seaside town in South Hampton.  
"Is that the Isle of Wight?" Phil asked.  
"Yeah, you can only see it sometimes though." Olivia replied. She was putting on her wellies.  
She started walking off towards a village green. "Coming?" She asked. We walked down the High Street, looking at all the little Tea Room's and newspaper shops. We came to a fork in the road.  
"This way!" She took my hand and pulled me towards and tiny forest. I could see a bridge and lots of mud.  
"So we are going to need the wellies!" Chris stated.  
"Obviously." PJ replied. Olivia ran up on the bridge and looked down at the water. Me, PJ and Chris followed.  
"Are we going this way?" I asked.  
"No, I just like bridges." She replied.  
"What about big hairy trolls?" I heard PJ say before he crept behind us and picked Olivia up and spun her around.  
"Well you are big and hairy?!" She reasoned. We laughed a bit before Phil pulled out his phone,  
"Picture time!" We all put our arms round each other and smiled like maniacs at the camera.  
"Phil, you are going to need to cross the mud mate!" Chris said. Phil pouted and edged his way across. We continued down the long muddy lane, lined with trees. We all laughed and skipped along like actual mentals. Olivia turned down a dark lane, we didn't notice.  
"Where's Ollie?" PJ asked worried.  
"I dunno?" Phil said looking around.  
"Oh shit." Chris muttered.  
"Where the fuck is Olivia?" I may have been having a minor panic attack.  
"Calm down man!" PJ said. "She's probably just hiding."  
"Not intentionally." Olivia said. I ran over and hugged her. oops.  
"Excited to see me?" She asked, sarcastically. "It's this way." We were lead out onto a field the grass was a straw coloured and just brushed the top of Olivia's thighs as she waded through it and onto a little hill. On top of the hill the grass had been pressed down and you could see straight down onto the forest, past the village and across the sea.  
"This is beautiful." PJ smiled and sat down.  
"It is, isn't it?" I thought to myself. Phil did a little bit of filming and we mucked around for a bit. We played rolly-pollys down the hill and PJ got some footage for what I assume would be another of his amazing artsy videos.  
"Boys!" Olivia called. Chris stood up and shouted,  
"WE ARE MEN!"  
"Men," Olivia corrected, "Come this way!" We followed her gaze into the deep dark forest.  
"Is it terribly scary?" I asked, I could see Phil filming from the corner of my eye, I think he had been for most of the day.  
"Oh yes, much so!" She replied in a fairytale voice.  
"Then we must stick together!" PJ said linking his arms with ours.  
"I shall protect my fair maidens!" Chris cried running towards the forest.  
"Watch out!" Olivia shouted but not before he tripped over a bush.  
"Ah fuck!" We all heard.

We adventured our way through the forest, battling our ways through branches, helping each other through muddy patches. We reached a small stream. Olivia put one foot in it.  
"This is the only way across." She announced, she stepped carefully across putting one foot in front of another. I followed her, PJ followed me and Chris was still coaxing Phil to put his foot in.  
I heard a gasp and tiny scream, I flicked around and grabbed Olivia before she fell into the water.  
"But I'm supposed to rescue the damsel in distress!" Chris whined.  
"You can rescue Phil!" Dan said. Phil didn't like that. We eventually got across the stream with out any proper accidents.  
We trudged up the dirt path to what we were told was the Graveyard.  
At the end of the lane, Love lane it was called, was a old white kissing gate. I opened and let myself through, I had a plan. As Olivia stepped through I closed the gate. I puckered my lips,  
"How did I not expect this?" She muttered. "  
"If you wanna get through you're going to have to kiss me!"  
She pecked me lightly on the lips, she took hold of my surprise and darted through the gate.  
"Thank you darling!" She kissed my cheek and smiled cheekily.  
"You do know I'm screwed know!" PJ said.  
"Pucker up PJ!" Chris said, shoving his face in PJ's. PJ kissed it briefly and barged through the gate.  
"Come on Phil!" Chris said with a wink. Phil grimaced and moved up to smooch Chris. In the split second that he blinked Phil got a lick and pulled through the gate.  
"That's disgusting Chris!" He cried, wiping his face with his sleeve.  
Suddenly we were out on the beach front. Olivia had briefly disappeared but came back with a picnic basket. We ate are lunch until the tide came in, it was getting dark and Phil being very responsible backed us all back into the car. He offered to drive as Olivia was practically falling asleep in my arms.  
We drove back off into the sunset, Olivia fell asleep to the sound of PJ finishing his vlog.  
"So thanks for an amazing day Olivia! But she overexerted herself and is now asleep in the back."  
He pointed the camera at us, I shifted an arm from under her and waved.  
"Bye from both of us!" I said. "And Chris." Chris had his head leant against the window most likely asleep.  
I lay my head on Olivia's and watched the countryside all the way back home.  
Phil pulled into a park and Olivia groggily opened her eyes.  
"Go back to sleep." I whispered. I hoisted her up into my arms, bridal style, and carried her in. She was lighter than I expected. She ate as much food as us and that was quite a lot.  
I tucked her into bed.  
"Nighty night babe." I kissed her forehead and left the room.


	9. Chapter 9: Teary Goodbyes

"Annd I will tryyyy to fix you!" I hear Dan sing from the kitchen,  
"Let's go crazy crazy crazy!" PJ sang.  
"No singing." Phil insisted.  
"Good." I said walking in.  
"The beast had awoken!" Chris bellowed.  
"I think you mean Sleeping Beauty." I replied.  
"Not with that hair!" He retorted.  
"Like you look any better!" I shot back.  
"I'm sure my subscribers think I'm very handsome!"  
"Have you seen your subscribers? Pretty creepy people."  
"They're just dedicated."  
"Sure."  
"CEREAL!" Phil shouted. So we sat down and ate cereal.  
Everyone was in there tracksuit bottoms and tops that they slept in, except me.  
"Why am I dressed?" I asked. Chris smirked.  
"You fell asleep in the car." Dan answered.  
"Who carried me in then? None of you could lift more than a small cat!" I scoffed.  
"You're lighter than you think, you know." Dan said.  
"Light as a feather you're a bakerlite girl!" Chris sang.  
"Eat up!" Dan said, stuffing another spoon of cereal into his mouth.  
"What's happening today?" Phil asked.  
"Me and Peej gotta head back soon." Chris answered.  
"OR you could stay here forever!" I suggested.  
"I wouldn't last longer than a week!" Peej said.  
"I couldn't handle all the flirting. I don't know how you do Phil?" Chris said.  
"What flirting?" Me and Dan both asked.  
They all raised their eyebrows suggestively.  
"What?!" We cried.  
Phil picked up all our empty bowls and put them in the sink.  
"We're taking the train back" Chris said.  
"When?" Dan asked.  
"Ummm, 12:05, I think?" PJ replied.  
"You should probably be heading up." Phil said.  
"Yeah..." PJ said. "Well we'll be off then."  
"Keep us updated on.." Chris said pointing at Dan.  
"Oh for fuck's sake!" Dan muttered.

We got to the train station, Dan and Phil were giving PJ and Chris their most manliest hugs goodbye.  
I gave Chris a hug and kiss on the cheek.  
"Save the smooching for later!" He winked, I punched his shoulder with a grin.  
"Bubye Peej!" I said, reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed him on the cheek and pushed off towards the doors.  
"Don't miss the train!" Phil said. Dan slipped his hand around my waist and his other arm around Phil's shoulder. We waved goodbye and blew them a kiss, they caught it in a most sarcastic fashion and continued through the doors, we turned round still held together by Dan's ridiculous arms,  
"Who fancies the park?" I asked.  
"ME!" The boys shouted.  
"I've got one in mind." I said, opening the car door.  
Just as we were driving out the car park I saw the flash of a camera in the side view mirror.


	10. Chapter 10: Arthur, Pubs and Explanation

**Arthur, Pubs and Explantions**

I was woken up the next morning by the ping of my phone receiving a text.  
'Simon Tomlinson 3 Sex God!' the name was. I hadn't been through my phone in so long I must have forgotten to change the name. Simon and Lizzie Tomlinson were my best friends in Buxton. They were twins and quite striking at that, they both had ridiculously bright blue eyes, bluer than Phil's, even bluer than mine. We were the blue eye crew.  
I opened up the text, 'Happy Birthday for tomorrow babe, can't wait to see you on Monday!'  
Oh shit, I forgot I was going North and it's my birthday tomorrow, can't believe I forgot that.  
22 isn't a particularly spectacular age to remember though.  
I shoved off my duvet and put on my dressing gown and walked into the kitchen to see Phil editing some stuff on his laptop and Dan playing Skyrim.  
I poured some cereal and OJ and stood at the breakfast bar looking over at Phil's laptop.  
"Did Peej send you some footage?" I asked, seeing some shots with Phil in them that definitely didn't look like they were filmed with Phil's camera.  
"Yeah, I'm just putting together a vlog for yesterday." He said.  
"Cool! I'd love to see it." I replied. "Oh um, I'm going up North on Monday."  
Dan's head flicked around, "Up NORTH?"  
"Why?" Phil asked.  
"For my birthday. I'm going up to see Mum an' Dad." I explained.  
"It's your birthday?!" Phil said incredulously.  
"13th of January, 1991 at 7:38 in Buxton."  
"I thought you were from Berkshire?" Phil asked.  
"We lived in Berkshire, my Dad worked there."  
"So how are getting up there?" Dan asked.  
"Driving." I replied as if it were obvious.  
"Don't kill yourself!" He smiled.  
"Sure thing babe." I replied, I saw the beginnings of a blush on his cheek but he turned his head around before it spread across his face.  
I'd called him babe plenty of times before, I call everybody babe. Must just be hot in here, Phil always had the heater on more than necessary.  
"Can you go visit Arthur today?" Dan asked.  
"Why?" I asked, suspiciously.  
"Because me and Phil need to do something." He said.  
"Oooh!" I winked.  
"Fuck off." He said.  
"Okay I'm going!" I said, throwing my hands the air I walked off back to my room. I got myself ready, chucked everything in needed into my pockets.  
I walked back into the living room where Dan and Phil were both looking intently at a piece of paper.  
"Leave. Now." Dan said.  
"Bye boys!" I walked over and gave them both a kiss on the cheek. Dan, however hid the paper so I saw nothing.  
"I know what you were trying to do." He said.  
"Okay!" I ruffled his hair and left the flat.

It was absolutely freezing outside so I nipped into Starbucks and picked up and drink, they weren't doing the Christmas drinks anymore but I still got a special cup.  
I noticed some teenage girls who looked very intensely at me as I got my drink and left.  
I walked around and into the park. The paths were a little frosty and the benches were covered in the rain from last night, the trees had no leaves on them. To anyone else it might've looked a bit depressing but I did like it. I saw Arthur sitting on bench at the end of the walk scrolling through his phone. A girl with straight brown hair and olive skin walked past him, it was obvious her intention was to show off her bum from the way she walked. Arthur was, in fact, quite attractive. I'm sure it was the glasses. Y'know 'Nerd Chic' and everything. He has a pair of horn rimmed glasses that are slightly too small for his face and like to sit just above the end of his nose. I love his glasses, I wear them all the time. You can tell his moods by his glasses, when he's deep in thought he has them up on his head like sunglasses, separating his sweepy light brown fringe from the rest of his hair. When confused or disbelieving he uses them them to scratch the side of his nose. When he's proud of himself he'll push them up his nose with a large grin. When he's sad he'll pretend that the glasses are irritating his eyes when really he his wiping his tears from eyes.  
And I've just gone and done a whole monologue on Arthur's glasses, shows how much I really know him.  
"ARTHUR!" I shouted, he looked up and smiled his biggest smile at me. I saw the girl who he hadn't paid any attention to, look over at me and scowl. I giggled at her face, going out with Arthur would practically be incest.  
"You came?" I asked.  
"How could I deny my closest friend a walk around the London Borough of Islington?!" He replied.  
"You would never deny me anything!" I jumped up and kissed his cheek.  
"So where to next my darling?" He asked,  
"First star on the left and straight on till morning!" I replied, gesturing to the far distance.  
"So the pub?" Arthur asked enthusiastically.  
"Yes, the Pub, the most magical place on earth!" We skipped off like gleeful twats down the road.  
On this Saturday morning, Daisy and Mark were running the bar. Usually only drunks and us were in at this time.  
"Morning guv'na!" Arthur said throwing his coat at the hooks on the wall.  
"So what are you hipsters doing in the pub on this frost morning." Daisy asked.  
"The lads kicked me out." I explained.  
"Do you have any friends that aren't men Ollie?" Mark asked.  
"Daisy is my friend, me and a Dais are tight!" I said.  
"The usual?" Daisy asked.  
"No, actually, I'll have a pint." I said.  
"Adventurous, I'll have the same." Arthur said. There was nobody else in the pub except for a old man in a booth in the corner.  
I pulled out my phone and took a picture of me, Mark, Daisy and Arthur all pointing and thumbs upping the pints.  
I twittered the picture, 'A pre birthday pint with my favourite hipsters!'  
Within second I got billions of retweets, favourites and comments.  
"Jesus," I muttered and look through a couple of them.  
'What about Dan and Phil? :('  
'Hipster, lol!'  
'Alcohol, naughty ;)'  
"Pointless." I said and got back to the very interesting conversation at hand.  
"Okay, I'm putting summat on the box, any requests?" Everbody shook their head. "Oasis it is!" They all groaned.  
"Again?" Daisy grumbled.  
"They were formed the year I was born!" I said enthusiastically.  
"That means that they aren't cool." Mark said.  
"Whatever!" I said. I slipped my 20p into the machine, 'Champagne Supernova' came on.  
I smiled and walked back. They all rolled there eyes.  
"So 22 tomorrow, eh?" Mark said.  
"Yeah, Happy Birthday to me!" I chinked my glass with Arthur's. Unfortunately, they all carried on singing.  
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Ollie, Happy Birthday to you!" They all sang at the top of their voices.  
"Go on drink!" I chugged the rest of my beer while they clapped to twenty-two.  
"No birthday bumps." I warned.

It was half past one when we left the pub. We got a bag of complimentary crisps flung at us as we left the pub to sustain us and soak up the the alcohol in our stomachs. We definitely weren't drunk, we'd only had two beers and a couple of lemonades. We walked back through the park, laughing manically.  
A girl waved at me from across the park. I blinked and tried to get a closer look at her,  
"Oh shit." I muttered. It was the stalker girl.  
"Arthur, I would love to go back to you flat but I've just got to sort summat out with .. Alisha." I made up a name. She looked like an Alisha. The sugar and beer had obviously gone to his head, he just muttered and replied with a, "Yeah sure, see ya later!"  
"Laters." I gave him a casual salute as I turned on my heel and headed towards 'Alisha.'  
"Hiya, um who are you?" I asked.  
"I just wanted to apologise for the other day, do you mind if we sit down?" She said.  
"No, not at all." I sat down the bench next to her.  
"Well I live around here and after school and such I've Dan and Phil and you walking around. My friend and me as well I suppose are massive fans and I mentioned that I'd seen you around so she suggested we hang around and see if we could find you. She is massively obsessed and when we saw you she realised that you had been on Dan's channel, I did confirm that I had seen you walking round with him. The only reason we kept following you is cause my friend really wanted a picture but we'd obviously scared you off." I listened and was slightly thankful that the really creepy girl didn't live round here.  
"What's your name?" I asked.  
"Emily." She replied, giving me a smile. "Could I maybe have a picture?" She asked.  
"Why would you want a picture with me?" I said.  
"I know you aren't famous but you have managed to do all these things and you have great friends and you finished a university degree, you live such an interesting life and not to mention you have lovely fashion sense." She explained. I looked down at my clothes, I'm not that stylish, I was just wearing jeans and a shirt with my massive grandpa cardigan and coat over the top. I grinned at her none the less.  
"Well of course you can have a picture, but I assure my life isn't as interesting and lovely as you think it is." She pulled out her phone and opened up the camera.  
I smiled and put my arm around her, "Funny face?" I asked as she finished taking the picture.  
She pointed her finger at me and poked her tongue out while I did my legendary monkey face.  
"How old are you?" I asked.  
"15."  
"Well I assure you that you can have fabulous friends and a university degree too, but I have to go now!" I smiled and got up.  
"By the way, you and Dan make such a lovely couple." She said, I did a double take.  
"We aren't together." I said, emphasising the 'aren't.'  
"Well you should be!" She winked and walked off in the other direction.  
"Fangirls!" I muttered and walked towards home.


	11. Chapter 11: Birthday Kisses

Work was exceedingly dull, Arthur had the day off and there was a kid's party, joy!  
I was heading back, it was already really dark and frosty. I pulled beanie as far down my head as I could without covering my eyes. I buttoned my coat all the way up and pulled my arms closer into my body to conserve heat.  
I fumbled my key into the lock at home, I opened the door. The house was completely black, I was unbuttoning my coat when all the lights suddenly came on and blinded me. Sat in front of me was Arthur, Dan and Phil.  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They shouted. To be honest it was terrifying. I had party popper fired at me.  
"Thanks guys!" I said, I hugged them all and we walked into the kitchen.  
I could see the table set up, it was fancy with candles and cutlery. The only thing out of place was a pile of pizza boxes in the middle. I had a glass of champagne given to me and I was sat down at the table.  
"Pizza, brilliant!" I exclaimed as a extra cheesy slice was put on my plate.  
"We all know how much you love pizza!" Dan said, grinning.  
We all ate as many slices as our stomach could handle, we bantered and laughed. Drank far too many glasses of champagne. We had blown up balloons and were kicking them around the living room, I had my music blasting.  
'Hey you beautiful!' Olly Murs sang out from the speakers. We jumped around like maniacs, dancing our hearts out.  
We crashed on the sofa,  
"I'm so bloody tired!" Dan said.  
"I can't even move!" Phil whined.  
"I'm never doing this again." I said, lying across the sofa. Arthur picked up the remote and turned on the TV. He flicked through the channels until he found a movie, it was just a pleasant surprise that is was a horror movie. Arthur turned out all the lights and Dan and Phil jumped up onto the sofa, we all hid under the blankets and the movie started getting really scary.  
I was sitting there with the blanket up to my eyes, Arthur had a pillow over his face and Dan was using my hair to shelter his eyes, Phil was sitting behind the sofa, cowering.  
We all screamed and jumped in closer as the killer began his unexpected murderous rampage.  
There was guts and internal organs flying everywhere, I hid my face under the blanket.  
"This too much for your manly brain?" I asked, when I saw Dan's face as well.  
"Yep!" He replied. I peeked my eyes over the blanket, I ducked back under.  
"Same." I jumped in towards him and hid my face in his chest as a blood curdling scream echoed from the television.  
"This is horrible, I've had enough!" Phil ran up and turned the TV off. I flicked a lamp on and got some sleeping bags and spare duvets out of the cupboard. I fetched all the pillows from the rooms and dumped them on the floor in front of the sofa.  
"I'm guessing we're sleeping here then?" Arthur said.  
"And I'm putting a nice movie on!" I announced. I slid the disc of Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging into the machine.  
"Oh my god a chick flick?" Phil cried.  
"You'll love it I promise." Arthur said.  
"You've seen it?" Dan asked,  
"Of course he has!" I grinned.  
I pressed play and we all leant back onto our pillows.

The boys seemed to be enjoying the movie more than they wanted to.  
"That whore!" Dan gasped when Lindsay flashed her thong.  
"Biggest plot twist ever!" Phil cried when Lindsay pulled her fake boobs.

"EUUUGHGGHH!" We all cried when Georgia started snogging Saliva Boy.  
"That's disgusting why would you do that!?" Phil shouted.

"That is a nice arse!" Arthur said, when they did the zoom up on Tom's bum.  
"Those are some quality abs." Dan giggled.  
"You a bit tipsy?" I asked. Dan giggled and nodded some more.

"Ya know Robbie's hair?" I said.  
"Yeah!" They all replied.  
"That's how your hair looks when its not straightened Dan." I informed in.  
"I could never look that sexxay!" He replied.  
"Phil would disagree!" I said, giggling.

'Aw they kissed!" Phil gushed.  
"In the pool!" Arthur continued.  
"They're all wet!" Dan said suggestively. I had to hold back my laughter.

"I think you liked that movie a lot more than you should've!" I said when it ended.  
"Can't deny good cinematography!" Arthur started.  
"Fantastic casting!" Phil continued.  
"Brilliant script!" Dan finished.  
I laughed at their pathetic attempts of saying that in a non sarcastic tone.  
We were all a bit drunk so I'm not sure they even knew what they were saying.  
"Spin the bottle!" Arthur drawled.  
"Noooo." Phil said, pulling the covers over his face.  
"Uh uh! You playing man!" Dan said, hoisting Phil out to join us.  
Arthur had fished out the champagne bottle and was spinning it.  
It landed on Phil and then, Arthur. We all giggled and laughed at Phil's terrified face.  
Arthur leaned over the circle and planted on on him. Phil was horrified.  
"Go on spin the bottle Phil!" Arthur said. Phil flicked the bottle reluctantly.  
It landed on me, "Oh shit!" I muttered.  
"You don't have to." Phil said,  
"I'm not a pussy!" I cried and leaned in and kissed him.  
From the corner of my eye I could see Dan's face scrunched up into a ball.  
"Do I not get a kiss?" He whined.  
"As you wish!" I said. I pressed my lips to his, as I got up Arthur dived in a snogged him.  
I fell back in laughter at Dan's surprised expression.  
"Time for bed!" Phil said, "I think this behaviour is getting out of hand."  
"Alright then Mr. Phil!" We all snuggled into out makeshift beds and fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12: Unexpected Car Incident

I woke up in the morning, my head was groggy and my vision was clouded. I rubbed my eyes and blinked, everything came into focus really quickly.  
"Jesus!" I muttered. I got up and poured myself a glass of water. I was still wearing my clothes, skinny jeans are more comfortable to sleep in than you might think.  
I walked back over to Dan who was snoring his bollocks off, not literally.  
I tapped lightly across his side like I was playing the piano, he shivered but still didn't wake up. I ruffled Phil's hair hair and tapped Arthur's forehead. Arthur was up immeadiately,  
"Why?" He groaned. We had to properly poke Phil to get him up, I went over to see if i could get Dan up,  
"Up, up, up!" I whispered into his ear and prodded his shoulder.  
I could see Phil was awake with his blue eyes peering sleepily over his blanket.  
"Dan!" Arthur shouted. He groaned but didn't open his eyes.  
I slowly poked up his shoulder before reaching his neck, it only took one little prod against the side of his neck for a wild hand to come flying.  
"And he's up, ladies and gentleman!" I announced, jumping up to take a bow.

We were eating breakfast unusually quietly,  
"I've got to go to Buxton in an hour and half." I realised.  
"That's nice!" Arthur said sarcastically, "I'm just off to a couple of roads around the corner!" He got up and grabbed his jacket.  
I walked over to the door with him, I could see Phil and Dan talking from the corner of my eye.  
"See you soon chum!" I said, leaning up for a massive hug and a kiss on the cheek.  
"Bye!" He smiled, "See ya later lads!" He shouted at Dan and Phil before walking out into the cold.  
"What are you two tossers talking about over here?" I walked over and asked.  
"Tossers? Why would you call us such a thing?!" Dan said, in his most sarcastic voice.  
"You know why!" I smirked and before we knew it we were all laughing out heads of at the most stupid things.

I was standing outside in the cold with just my t-shirt on standing with the boot open waiting for Dan to bring my quite small suitcase out.  
"Jesus! I'll do it!" I ran inside and grabbed the handle from Dan, "You are very hopeless."  
"I was just being careful!" He shrugged his shoulders and I laughed.  
"Aren't you cold?" Phil asked.  
"A little bit, I'll be fine for now." I replied, slamming the boot shut. Phil chucked my oversized black and white coat at me,  
"You'll need more than that up north!" Dan said.  
"It's all the car." I answered. "I'm heading off now then!" I said and hugged and kissed them both.  
As I was getting in to the car I could see Phil whispering something into Dan's ear. Suspicious.  
I was sitting with the car door open and one leg still on the pavement when Dan walked over.  
"Yeah?" I asked. He didn't answer, just pressed his cold lips gently to mine.  
'Weeeelll...' My internal thought process just crashed.  
"Well, I didn't want last night to be out first kiss so that this one is the official." He said.  
"Bye then?" I said. I drove off.


	13. Chapter 13: Up NORTH

I parked my car in the drive way and got out, to no surprise whatsoever it was freezing.  
No bothering about my stuff, I ran up to the front door and let myself in.  
"Mum! Dad!" Instead of Mum and Dad appearing Simon, Lizzie, Louis and Colin appeared.  
"Little brother!" I shouted, I ran and hugged Colin, while he cringed.  
"Enjoying your first year of no school?" I asked.  
"It's brilliant!" He replied.  
"What about us?" Louis said, feigning sadness.  
"Oh Lou! Si, Lizzie!" We had a big group hug, "Where's Ziggy?" I asked. I heard a meowing from the stairs,  
"She must've known you were home!" Colin said.  
"Aw, Ziggy! Didja miss me?" I crooned and picked up the old tabby cat, stroking her across her back.  
"You're acting as if it's been years." Colin rolled his eyes.  
"It's been 18 months." I said.  
"We saw you before Christmas!" He replied.  
"Yeah, you came to me, I haven't been here for 18 months. In Buxton." I clarified.  
"Anything planned?" I asked my friends.  
"Only the usual!" They all grinned and it was very infectious.  
It was 5:30 and pretty dark already outside,  
"Mum will be home soon, lemme just get ready and we'll walk down soon!" I said.  
"We'd love to have tea with Mrs Oswald!" They all replied.  
"I'm not sure she feels the same." Mum said as she closed the door. "Darling!" She cried.  
"Mum!" I hugged her and took the groceries she had in her hand to the kitchen.  
"How's London?" Mum asked.  
"Yeah, how's London?" Louis asked.  
"Really good. It's epic there!" I replied.  
"How's Daniel?" Mum asked.  
"Dan? Dan's good. Hasn't burnt the house down, nearly tried though!" I answered.  
"I always remember you and that boy go into an awful lot of trouble." She said absent-mindedly.  
"Do you know how Mrs Howell is these days?" Mum asked.  
"Fine, I'm sure she's fine." I replied.  
"And that other boy you live with?"  
"Phil?"  
"Yes, has he been looking after you both?"  
"If anything we've looking after him!" I laughed.  
"Dear god, the boy is 25!"  
"Almost 26!"  
"And Dan is..."  
"22, 23 in June."  
"Oh Happy Birthday Olivia!" Mum shouted and dashed upstairs to grab something.  
She came back down with a wrapped present covered by a large bow.  
"Open it!" Lizzie shouted.  
I laughed as I saw the contents, a pair of socks, some books and an Oasis CD.  
"Aw, Mum it's the only one I don't have!" Looking at the track list on the CD.  
"We told her that!" Simon looked very proud.  
"Now go get ready! I understand them lot are taking you to the Clubhouse?" Mum said. She looked disapprovingly at my friends and they smiled like the cheeky bastards they are.  
I was upstairs with my suitcase in my old room, I noticed some stuff that I definitely had to bring back to London. I put on a jumper and my jeans, my my high heeled boots. I fished out my parka and scarf and held them in the crook of my elbow as I ran down the stairs. Lizzie attacked me with eye liner and hair perfecting when I reached the bottom.  
I was deemed acceptably dressed and I got out onto the street and started walking down the hill to the best pub in England.

The pub was exactly the same as I remembered it, Simon nicked us one of those benchy table with a window at the back while Louis got us drinks.  
After a beer, Simon decided it was probably best to have some food. We all ended up having 2 curries, a burger and a bowl of chips between us.  
I could see old school friend and University friends coming in and joining us at the table. By the end of the night I had decided that the gang had invited everyone for a sort of birthday gathering, I only figured that out after a couple of beers and a cider though.

The second day passed pretty quickly, I caught up with Dad and Colin took me round some of the parks. I went down to the sweet shop on the high street and Lady recognised me from all the times I'd been in. I decided to only have lemonade and Coca Cola for the rest of the week.  
Third day was pretty much the same. The gang and few others we picked up went into Manchester and up around some of our 'hang out' spots.  
Fourth day, me and Colin went up to the Goyt Valley in our wellies and walked the whole trail, when I got home I was so tired. I was scrolling through Tumblr on our crappy internet when I saw a certain Dan Howell calling. I plugged my ear phones in and pressed accept.  
"Greetings from North!" I said.  
"Hey! How are you going?" He asked.  
"Oh amazing, it's brilliant up here! You must come up!" I replied.  
"I'm sure I will!" He smiled warmly at me through is webcam.  
"Can I ask about the car thing?" I asked hesitantly.  
"That wasn't my idea." He replied really quickly.  
"Whose was it then?" I asked.  
"Everyone else's! Phil's, Chris', Arthur's!"  
"And so why?"  
"When you get back, it'll be easier to tell you in person."  
"Oh um, okay then."  
"There's a Valentine's Party at Chris' place the day you get back, it's like a loner thing."  
"Sounds fun!"  
"So just go straight round to Chris' if you're back past 6."  
"I will! I'm going to sleep now, I've had a big day!"  
"Oh okay! Night night!" I pushed the laptop away from and snuggled into my duvet.

"You look really peacful when you sleep." Dan's voice woke me.  
"Dan?" I was pretty fucking creeped out considering he was in London.  
"You left the Skype call open." He explained.  
"That's not so creepy then!" I sighed in relief. "I'm going now!" I made sure to end call, close window, log out and turn the laptop off. I had to pack it away anyway. Big journey back later.  
I packed all my stuff into my car and went into town with the gang.  
We spent the day loitering and buying Percy Pigs from M&S until 2.  
I got back to the house where Mum and Dad were waiting for me,  
"Hiya!" I called, getting out of the car.  
"You should go before its get dark!" Mum said.  
"What time will I be back in London?" I asked.  
Dad looked at his watch, "About 6." He said.  
"One second!" I said, I grabbed some stuff from the back of the car.  
I ran into my room and got changed for Chris' party. I was back downstairs in a flash.  
"You look nice!" Mum remarked.  
"Chris is having a party." I said.  
"Chris?" Dad asked, concerned.  
"A friend, we used to catch the train into Manchester together." I hugged Mum and Dad. Colin was just walking up the street with his mates,  
"I'm going!" I gave him a big embarrassing hug just because his friends were there.  
I heard one of them behind him say, "Your sister is fit, mate!" I laughed and replied with a smirk and a  
"In your dreams!"  
I got into my car and with a last wave to everybody was on my way back to London.


	14. Chapter 14: Not a Rape Charge

We left Chris' party fairly early in the morning, everybody else was too hungover or sleepy to be entertaining.  
"Oh um, my friend set me up on this date at Starbucks so I'll be out of your hair for the afternoon." I said.  
"Okay." Phil replied. Dan just kept on driving,  
"You need a lift?" Dan asked.  
"It's round the corner." I said.  
"Ah yes." He replied, I laughed and flicked over the radio channel.

I wasn't exactly sure what to wear on this date, I decided it was Starbucks therefore I would jeans and a jumper. Brilliant, I know.  
I grabbed my coat, general things and left a post-it on the bench,  
'Left for Starbucks, back soon :)' I don't they needed disturbing from their internet time.

I walked into Starbucks and had a man of average height and short, blonde hair wave me over. I'm not accustomed to seeing foreheads. Arthur, Phil, Dan, Chris, PJ and my brother all have fringes.

He looked nice enough and fairly decent so I ordered a coffee and sat down.

DAN'S POV.

I walked out into the kitchen to grab some food when I saw the fluorescent yellow post-it attached to the bench,

She's gone on the date, the stupid date she doesn't need to go on because I'm fucking here. I threw the note in the bin and grabbed my food. I flopped onto the sofa and turned on the telly. The noise faded to the background as Phil came in.  
"If you're going to get so annoyed can you just tell her?" He said. "I guarantee you'll feel better."  
"What do you mean, how? How, Phil, how?" I asked in desperation.  
"Okay, the next time you see her, kiss her, she'll get the message." Phil suggested.  
"Wow, great advice." I replied sarcastically. It was fucking terrible advice but I was going to try it.

Though, maybe I'll give her some warning. I don't a rape charge or anything.


	15. Chapter 15: Sloppy Kisses for Rainy Days

OLIVIA POV

I was back from the 'date' I put it quotation marks because it consist of us making awkward conversation and him texting his friends. To recover from the horrific social interaction, I was curled up on the sofa watching Doctor Who.

"So uh, how was your date?" Dan asked. I looked up from where I was perched on the sofa.  
"I've been on better." I replied.  
"So the guy wasn't nice, good looking?"  
"He was alright, have you got a problem with him or something?" I asked.  
"Well yeah, he isn't me."

"I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say."  
"What I think I'm trying to say is don't go out with him because you've got somebody so much better standing right in front of you."  
"Is this what you've been edging around saying for weeks, all the sly kissing and comments and PJ and Chris all saying we're in love. You aren't fucking with me?"  
"Why would I do that? I'd rather just fuck you."  
"Brilliant. So what that's it then? I'll be in the park if you need me." I got up and ran out the front door before Dan could say a word.

I could see the storm clouds heading towards me, I picked myself off the bench I'd been sitting on and blankly staring at the ground for about 10 minutes.  
So what do you do when the person you've been best friends with since you were 6 suddenly confesses to wanting to go out with you. I have no fucking clue. Okay, well I could run back into the house confess my undying love and we could make sweet love till the morn. Or not. I could run away to Slough and work in a chippy. Or not. I could run back home because it's fucking pissing it with rain.

I pushed my hood up over my head and ran, just general running.  
I slammed into a tall, dark person who also seemed to be running away from the rain.  
"Sorry," I looked up. Ah fuck, Dan.

He slides his hands around my waist and pulls me up onto my tip toes,  
"I'm going to do something I should've done a long time ago." He dipped his head and pressed his wet, rain covered lips to mine. The torrid downpour of rain stopped the kiss from escalating and we broke apart and pressed our bodies against the nearest building.  
"You were right, you should've done that a long time ago." I remarked with a grin.  
"I'm glad you liked it." He replied, "Maybe when we get inside I can show you what I'm really made of." He winked and threaded his fingers through mine.  
"God!" I muttered as he pulled me out into the rain, our hands interlocked the whole run back to the flat.


	16. Chapter 16: Never Again Friends

After the little escapade in the rain, Dan ran into his bedroom and took a very long shower. I sat on the sofa watching crap telly waiting for the inevitable 'talk'.  
Dan walked into the living room, he had his hair curly like I liked it, nodded at Phil who then left. I looked suspiciously at the pair of them.  
"Well?" Dan said, as he sat down next to me on the sofa.  
"Yes?" I replied.  
"So we've had this whole friends thing going on for a while and that's great but well..." He trailed off.  
"Well, it's been quite a while and Phil said I should probably tell you."  
"Tell me what?" I had a hunch but I still asked.  
"That I'm..."  
"Sorry what?"  
"That I fucking love you." He said. "Can I kiss you?"  
"You do realise we can never be friends again?" I pointed out.  
"I'm fine with that as long you never look at another man and let me cuddle you in the mornings."  
"I always had you pegged as the jealous type." I smirked.

He laughed before brushing his nose against mine and kissing my lips.  
"Happy now?" I breathed as he distanced our faces slightly.  
"Almost." He replied before dipping in for another kiss.  
I wrapped my fingers through his curly hair and his snaked their way around my waist, pulling me closer until I was sat in his lap.  
"So he told you?" Phil said, walking in.  
"Yeah I did. So you have to put up with this now." Dan replied, "I've got like 6 or 7 years of kissing to make up for."  
"15, you've fantasized about kissing me since you were 15." I said.  
"Make that 9 or 10 years." He corrected.  
"That is a lot of kissing to make up for." I laughed and Phil sat on the couch opposite with a cup of tea.

"Dan it's 9 o'clock." Phil remarked, Dan looked up from where he was plaiting strands of my hair.  
"Shit." He said. He got up and walked into his room, I assumed it was liveshow night, it being Tuesday and all.  
I strolled in a few minutes later,  
"Hiya Dan, Phil's got some editing to do so I'm just gonna sit here and watch you make love to the viewers." I said.  
"I'd rather make love to you." I shook my head in exasperation and kissed him before plonking myself down on his bed.

I could see the chat lighting up the screen in full blown capital letters,

'I hope to god somebody screenshot that.' Seemed to be the general message.  
"I'm guessing you might've gone live before I came in." I said. "Sorry."  
"Actually I went live as you opened the door, I'm surprised I had viewers within the first 10 seconds."  
"Insane shitstorm?" I asked.  
"Pretty much."


	17. Chapter 17: All You Need Is Love

I woke up in the morning and picked my phone up off the side table to stop it from buzzing. I had a missed call from Dan.  
"Awake?" Dan popped his head round the door.  
"Er, yeah. What's with the missed call?" I asked.  
"I needed a way to wake you up." He said.  
"That's a brilliant way of doing it, then isn't it." I replied, rolling out of bed and pulling on a grey cardigan that was hanging of the back of a chair.

I walked into the kitchen and downed a glass of milk from the fridge.  
"What's with the camera?" I asked.  
"Oh, I'm filming a video." Dan said.  
"About?"  
"You." He replied.  
"Oh."  
"Yeah, um I thought it would be nice if we could film a little thing to go on the side channel, I would like everybody to know you're mine."

"Dan, we haven't even been on a date yet. We're not properly officially boyfriend/girlfriend either." I said.  
"Well I did have something planned for tonight, and I have known you since I was 6 so I think we're pretty close already." He pleaded with his eyes.  
"Sure, but you aren't allowed to put it up until we've had a date." I bargained. He smiled his biggest smile at me and made room for me on the sofa.  
"You're filming it already?" I asked. "Give me some time to get ready."  
"Nah, you look beautiful!" He said, running over to pick me up and drag back to the sofa.

Dan clicked the record button on the camera and opened his mouth to talk,  
"Just before Dan starts I would like to say for the record it is 10 in the morning and I have just gotten up." I interjected.  
"She still looks sexy though, right." Dan replied. I looked over with my left eyebrow raised as high as it would go.

"Now the reason your internet cult leader Dan has called you here today is because this man is jealous bastard and likes everybody to know what is his." I started.

"So without further ado I would like to present my sexy new girlfriend Olivia." Dan announced. "Please don't hate her or anything, she's properly amazing and my best friend since I was 6. Also I don't want her running away because you guys are being nasty because I think I literally love her to bits." Dan looked over to me as he finished. I leaned into his shoulder and tucked my knees across his lap,  
"I really am very lucky, aren't I?" I said, looking up. Without giving it a thought I reached up and pecked his lips softly.  
"You know what I've just realised, we are wearing matching clothes." I said, I looked to see that we both had dark blue track pants, white t-shits and grey cardigans on.  
"Oh my god. Clothes buddies." We stood up and bumped our hips, which were level with the camera.  
"While we're here we might as well do sexy end screen dance." Dan suggested. "  
"Matching sexy end screen dance!" Dan said, "If you think this is sexy, you better check out what I've got planned for later tonight."  
"Oh Jesus Dan!" I exclaimed and he flicked off the camera.

I flopped back onto the sofa,  
"Would it be to forward if I were to kiss you now?" Dan said.  
"You are really into this whole kissing thing aren't you?" I replied.  
"Yes I am!" He hoisted me off the sofa and snuck his arms around my waist and pulled me up to his lips. "I'm never going to get tired of this." He remarked before dipping down to touch his lips to mine.  
My arms wound their way around his neck and my fingers weaved through his slightly curly hair.  
He pulled me down onto the sofa, keeping his arms around my waist but interlocking our fingers. I could feel his soft breath across my ear,  
"I could get used to this." He sighed.  
"Well I'll always be here," I replied, snuggling further into his chest.

"Okay, so I've got Indian banquet and Moulin Rouge. I think that's pretty special." Dan announced at 8pm.  
"So this our first date then?" I asked.  
"Yes, yes it is." I had a curry put in my hand and I was pushed down onto the sofa. Dan sat down next to me and I snuggled closer to him and pulled my feet up and tucked them under his knees.  
"Eat up." He said, pressing play on the movie.

To be honest, this was my kind of date. Sitting on the sofa with food and a movie, it was just coincidental that Moulin Rouge was a favourite of mine and also possibly one of the most romantic movies on the planet.  
The movie finished and the credits rolled playing the Elephant Love Medley.  
I looked over to Dan and he was miming the words in the most dramatic fashion at me.  
'Love is a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!"  
"Oh don't start that again." I sang back.  
"All you need is love."  
"A girl has got to eat!"  
"All you need is love."  
"She'll end up on the street!"  
"All you need is lovee!" Dan sang back.  
"Love is just a game!"  
"I was made for loving you baby and you were made for loving me!" He sang and pulled me closer by my waist to him.  
"The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee!" I replied flicking his chin with my finger.  
"Just one, give me one night."  
"There's no way cause you can't pay!"  
"One night in the name of love!" He clasped his hands and pretended to beg.  
"You crazy fool, I won't give into you!" I winked and he smiled up at me.  
"Don't leave me, I can't survive without your sweet love, oh baby don't leave me!" He interlocked our fingers and stole a kiss.  
"You'd think that people would've had enough of silly love songs!"  
"I look around and I see it isn't so." Dan wrapped his arms around my waist and we swayed with the music.  
"Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs!"  
"Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know cause here I go again... Love lifts us up where we belong, on a mountain high, where eagles fly!"  
"Love makes us act like we're fools, throw our lives away for one happy day!"  
"We could be heroes if just for one day!" I put a hand on Dan's shoulders and slid my other into his own open hand. His other arm slid around my waist and we sang along to the music.  
"You, you will mean." I smirked.  
"No, I won't." Dan replied with a smile.  
"And I'll, I'll drink all the time." Dan repressed a giggle.  
"We should be lovers!" He sang to me.  
"We can't do that."  
"We should be lovers! and that's a fact!" He pulled tight against his chest.  
"Though nothing would keep us together." Dan spun me out.  
"We could steal time." He tugged my arms and spun me back tight against his chest.  
"Just for one day."  
"We could be heroes, forever and ever.  
We can be heroes, forever and ever!" We sang as we swayed and danced to the music.  
"Just because I will always love youu!" Dan continued.  
"I can't help loving you." I sang.  
"How wonderful life is now you're in the world." We finished and I leant my head on Dan's shoulder.  
"I know it's a little too soon and very fast but I do love you very much and want you to be mine forever and ever." Dan whispered in my ear.  
"I think I'm in love too," I breathed. Dan grinned and pulled me up into his arms bridal style. He carried me into his room and we snuggled under the duvet. I had my arm draped across his chest with hands still inside his. My head resting on his shoulder with his leaning against mine, his arm resting wrapping underneath and around my waist keeping my body close to his.  
"You're not leaving tonight," Dan said.  
"I wouldn't dream of it." I replied snuggling closer to him. "You can post the video cause I swear to god I properly love you." I could feel his smile and he kissed the top of my head.  
"Sleep well my darling." He said.


	18. Chapter 18: Not a Slut, Just Amazing

I woke up with Dan's fingers intertwined in my curly hair, messy from sleep. Our hands were still joined and I could fell his chest rising and falling gently.  
"Dan, Danny?" I asked, untangling myself from him.  
"Don't call me Danny again." He replied with a straight face, his eyes still closed.  
"Alright then Danny boy." He grinned and jumped out of bed.  
"Since when were you this chipper in the morning?" Dan asked. "That reminds me I've got a video to upload."  
He jumped and clicked upload, he'd obviously had the tab open and done all the editing yesterday.  
"Why are you so eager for everyone to know?" I asked.  
"Well, I have liked you for so long and I just finally want everyone to know." He answered.  
"How long?" I asked.  
"Since I was 13, but I guess I didn't realise on what scale then."  
"When I bumped into you in London that day last year, I kinda realised that I missed you more than I thought I had. You kept dropping hints and cuddling and your friends all made jokes and I used to sit there and wonder, does he actually like me and more importantly do I like him." I said,

"Well you know for certain I do." He smiled and gave my hand a little shake, squeezing my fingers.  
Phil knocked on the door,  
"You lot get ready, we're going out today." He said.  
"I'll just go put some proper clothes on." I said, walking out and into my room.  
I chucked on some jeans and a shirt. I ran my fingers through my hair and slapped a bit of mascara across my lashes.  
Dan walked in and snuck his arms around my waist,  
"Glad you haven't slapped a pound of make up on your face." He remarked.  
"Because I look beautiful naturally..." I finished hopefully.  
"No, it would take to long. We're leaving." He replied. I elbowed him and he threw his head back in laughter as put my arm around his waist and walked out the door.  
"Why hello, Phil." I said.  
"Good morning Olivia!" He replied, "Dan's been telling me about how he finally seduced you."  
"Course he has, I've discovered that he is very jealous."  
"Well he will get to flaunt it today, cause we're going out to visit Carrie and Alex and do some shopping." Phil announced opening the door for us. I grabbed my jacket off the coat stand and walked out the door.

The whole walk through London to Oxford Street, Dan didn't let go of my hand.  
Our finger were interlinked as we walked through the streets,  
"Do you too actually separate?" Phil asked as we walked out of Topman.  
"Er, no. Dan doesn't like letting go of my hand." Dan squeezed my hand and pulled me closer towards him.  
"We're meeting Carrie and Alex in Hyde Park, aren't we?" Dan asked.  
"Yes we are. Should be interesting." Phil said.  
"Yeah four youtubers walking round London!" I said.  
"Five, there are five of us." Dan said.  
"Yes, but four youtubers, I'm not a youtuber." I explained.  
"Yes, of course." Dan said. Me and Phil laughed as he thought about it.

We walked into Hyde Park and slid across the icy floor, there was still patches of snow on the grass.  
I prised my hands away from Dan's and scooped up a patch of snow, balled it in my hands and hurled it at the back of Dan's head.  
"Oi!" He shouted, spinning around.  
He laughed as I raised my snow covered hands in triumph.  
He ran and picked me up from behind and carried me away, Phil was hiding behind a tree in embarassment. I saw Carrie's wild blonde hair down the lane, I assumed the man behind her was Alex. Dan was waving with his arms above his head.  
"Hello!" I said, to both of them.  
"Hi Olivia!" Carrie said, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  
"Allo!" Alex said. Dan slipped his hand through mine as Phil caught up.  
"Ooh, ooh, ooh. What's this?" Alex asked, looking down at our hands.  
"Oh, I finally seduced her." Dan said, with a smile.  
"Aw how long have you been going out?" Carrie asked.  
"Just a couple of days." Dan replied.  
"That's nice." Alex said, "But I saw a waffle van up there so..."  
"Food!" I said and pulled Dan up the lane.

We got home from our fabulous day out and I noticed that Dan wasn't on any computers, he hadn't checked twitter.  
He was making a special effort to be amazingly nice to me and he never let go of my hand. It was horrible and I knew something was up. Them minute Phil left the room I turned to him,  
"Cards on the table Dan, what's up?" I said.  
"What do you mean?" He asked.  
"You are being very clingy, you haven't been on the internet and you just seem very..uh." I shrugged.  
"Okay Oli I have a reason, but I just can't tell you because I like you too much." He said, I narrowed my eyes at him.  
"You know me, I'm always fine. Tell me." I demanded.  
"This hurts me, you know." He said, pulling out his phone and opening Youtube. He navigated onto his side channel video and clicked comments, I knew where it was going.  
"Oh, Dan." I said as he scrolled own the comments and showed them to me.  
It was the usual stuff, calling me a whore, a slut, saying I wasn't good enough, saying I was ugly.  
"Dan, you know I wouldn't be bothered by that stuff." I said.  
"But, you might've. The reason I've been so clingy is because I wanted to make sure you knew you were loved because I knew these comments would appear. I didn't want you to see the comment and say that it was too much and leave me, I've been waiting to long for this to have some 12 year old girls ruin it for me."  
"Come on Danny Boy." I smiled sadly at him, "You know I'd never do that." He pulled into a hug and sat me on the bench.  
"But it still bothers me, I hate it when people are mean and unreasonable to people I care about and they haven't even given you a chance!" He said.  
"Make a deal with the danosaurs, I dunno, but if it bothers you then they have to stop." I replied.  
"That's it! I'll do a deal, I'll film a vlog everyday next week and if don't like by then, I'll ignore I'll get on with my life. But I can't have them not give you a chance." He suggested, "You should make a Youtube channel, then they can get to know you better!"  
"Dan, I'm not really a Youtube person." I said, he pouted and widened his brown eyes.  
"I'm perfectly happy with being in your videos." I said. "And for the record, I'm glad you want everyone to like me."  
"They have no reason not to, you're amazing." Dan smiled and grabbed my hand, "My room?"  
"You know, if we count these nights that we sit and talk in your room on the internet until the early hours of the mornings as date then technically we've been on four since you first kissed me, 3 since we watched Moulin Rogue and a million since we were six." I remarked.  
"Let's count them then!" He grinned and pulled me off the counter towards his room.


	19. Chapter 19: Deep and Meaningful Snogs

It's been three days since Dan's confession of ultimate emotion, I made habit of finding every single nice message and replying and then showing it to Dan. In fact, every nice message I've seen about any of his friends or family on his videos I've shown to him, just to make sure he knows that the majority of his subscribers are fucking beautiful people. It's just a small amount that are obnoxious twats.  
We've been on two proper dates, I've spent the last three nights in Dan's room continuing our deep discussions and to compromise the YouTube thing I started a blog. Oh and today he starts his week long vlog in order to get his subscribers to fall in love with me.  
"Good morning sexy viewers, I am awake at the time of 10:47 on this Monday morning." I heard Dan say. "I am currently in my room waiting to get dressed, don't worry no nudity, but I need to get the lump that is Ollie Oswald out of my room before I can do that."  
"I'm not leaving any time soon," I smirked, poking my head out from under the covers.  
"The beast awakens!" He cried.  
"Good morning to you as well Danny boy!" I said jumping up and kissing his cheek before leaving the room.  
I could still hear him chattering to the camera as I got dressed, I dragged on my skinny jeans and a t-shirt that's hem ended past my arse. I stuck my hand out the window and pulled a jumper on for good measure. I let my hair out of the plaits that it was in and flicked it over my shoulder as I applied some mascara, added and flick of eye liner and finished it off a swipe of red lipstick.  
I appeared from my room to see Dan had transformed into clothes,  
"Ooh, look Olivia has her sexy red lipstick on today, better not ruin that!" He winked at the camera.  
"I've got to look my best if I'm to impress the danosaurs." I laughed, "If you see a shot with him having redder than usual lips you'll know what he's been doing." I said knowingly to the camera.  
"Gosh darn it!" He said sarcastically.  
"I'm going down the shops with Phil, you can be our pack horse if you like?" I asked.  
"Sure, I'll bring the viewers!" He hoisted his camera up. I pulled on my jacket, scarf and gloves, grabbed the 'enviromental' bags by the door and closed it behind Dan and Phil.  
"We're going to a large supermarket chain that rhymes with Disco." I said as Dan flicked on the camera again.  
"We're reccomending the shop I don't think you have to censor the name." Phil said.  
"Oh well then, we're off to TESSSCCCCOOOOO!" I said. "They legitimately follow me on twitter."  
"A* for that achievement!" Dan said sarcastically.

The day continued as it should, Dan tried to make these vlogs as interesting as he could so by the end of the day I was tucked up in my own bed, exhausted.  
Dan continued his vlogs all week and spontaneously decided to make Friday, 'All About Ollie Day' so that everyone could properly get to know me so that they knew I was amazing and everything. Dan really needed to stop saying I was amazing and perfect because I was just gonna let everybody down, there's always going to be somebody who won't like you or won't like the things that you do and Dan needs to accept that but for now I'm just gonna let him think that he can change that.

On Thursday night Dan sat down next to me while I was typing up a blog post,  
"Thanks for starting the blog by the way." He said, snuggling closer, "I just want people to love you as much I do now."  
"Dan, I know you do but there's always going to be somebody that won't like, just like there are people that don't like you." I said, "If anything it's more important that people like you, YouTube is your job."  
"But you are me, you are a part of me and if they don't like you then they don't like me." He said.  
"No, Dan, No. People love you, the internet loves you and if the people that subscribe to you, the people that pay your rent love you even half as much as I do then they'll want you to be happy and if I'm right that means me, that means Phil, that means your family, that means your job." I explained. "The people of the internet don't care what makes you happy as long as you keep being you, you keep being you means that more people will subscribe and that will make you happy which in turn makes them happy. Happy is infectious."  
"Do what makes you happy.." Dan repeated blankly.  
"Yeah Dan you said that." I replied.  
"Yeah I did, Fuck them all! Let's run away to Tahiti and have 17 children!"  
"Well there's happy then there's that," I said.  
"You are fucking brilliant and I love you!" He bent down and kissed me. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he closed the gap between our faces in the most brilliant kiss. I brought my feet back down to the floor but lips still never left his. His arms were clasped tightly around my waist and my fingers were combing through his hair.  
"Right, I'll leave you to it." I heard Phil say.  
"It's alright, we're finished now." I said.  
"No we aren't!" Dan announced, pulling me towards his bedroom.


	20. Chapter 20: Video Virginity and Whims

"You are still doing the About Me questions tag thing for the viewers," Dan said, poking his head into my bedroom.  
"But we established that you didn't care anymore." I replied.  
"Yeah but I'm still trying to get you to YouTube, you could film a video and post it on you blog." He suggested.  
"What is with you and trying to get me to YouTube?" I asked.  
"We did school plays together until we were 14, you are an actress and a YouTube person I can feel it!" He sang and danced out of the room,  
"Mental!" I muttered, throwing the covers off me.  
I got dressed, had breakfast, cleaned the shithole that is the kitchen and kissed Dan as he walked out the door with Phil to do something or other that was important.  
While I was waltzing around dancing I found my old handy cam up on shelf in the living room, I thought about how much Dan wanted me to make a video so I thought fuck it and set the camera up on a table.  
"Hiya! The reason I'm making this video is because Dan said it would be a good idea. It's my first video and I'm just gonna answer the 24 about me questions or whatever that is, yeah I apologise if I've done it wrong." I pulled up a website on my laptop and began to read,  
"_Do you have a middle name?_ Yes I do, it's Claire. Olivia Claire Oswald to break up all the O's, I coulda been Olivia Opal Oswald or Olivia Odette Oswald or Olivia Oswin Oswald, that would've been cool. I must ask why I'm not called Olivia Oswin Oswald.  
_What was your favourite subject in school?_ I honestly don't know, probably History or English because I'm boring. I quite enjoyed Drama that was always fun and French I was always quite good at French.  
_What's your favourite drink?_ Ginger beer. Or actual beer. I'm kidding, Alcohol is bad for you children, I don't recommend.

_What's your favourite song?_ Oh I really like Bastille's stuff at the moment, Icarus is a favourite of mine and Oasis, I like all of their's. I dunno really, my favourite song of all time is probably Let's Dance to Joy Division, Mr. Blue Sky or Champagne Supernova or Star Girl.  
_What will you name your children?_ I really like Louis or Arthur, those are lovely names, and for a girl... Clara, then she'd be Clara Oswald like Doctor Who. Wait, no she wouldn't she'd have my husband's name so she'd be Clara something or other.  
_Do you participate in sports?_ I used to play Football for my school because it was compulsory and I'd not mind some beach volleyball but apart from that no, not at all. I probably should though  
_What's your favourite book?_ Excuse me, no. I can't answer this.

_Favourite colour?_ Blue, red or green. Yeah that's it.  
_Favourite animal?_ A giraffe for sure. My nickname used to be Giraffe.  
_Favourite perfume?_ I don't wear perfume often but the one that I own is Burberry Brit which smells very nice. And Dan seems to like it so that's a plus.

_Favourite Holiday?_ CHRISTMASSS! I mean the food, and the present, and the food, and the music and food.  
_Have you graduated High School?_ Yes I have and University!  
_Been out of the country?_ Oh yeah I've been everywhere! Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France, Germany, Amsterdam, Belgium, Spain, Hong Kong, Singapore, Australia, Bali, Italy, India, Brazil. I'm quite well travelled.  
_Speak any other languages?_ Profanity, sarcasm and French, for your information!

_Do you have any siblings?_ A younger brother named Colin, who just finished school.  
_Favourite shop?_ For clothes? I think Primark, Topshop or New Look. WH Smiths is good for everything, I love Waterstones and those little shops that sells god knows what that are up and down the country.

_Favourite food place?_ Nando's or Pizza Express, but I work there so that's a bit euggh but they make good pizza and I'm friends with the chef's so ehh.  
_Did you liked school?_ Some the teachers were properly crap but I had good friends and I did learn stuff, enough stuff to get me into a decent university.  
_Your favourite YouTubers?_ I think they wouldn't forgive me if didn't say it so, danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil. But definitely Carrie, Alex, PJ, Chris, Charlie, Jack, Finn... I know all my favourite YouTubers, it's really surreal.  
_Favourite movie?_ Not even sure, like Mulan or something. Moulin Rogue, The Princess Bride, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  
_Favourite TV Shows?_ Doctor Who for definite if you haven't guessed already. Sherlock, Miranda, The Inbetweeners, Vicar of Dibley, I love everything.

_PC or Mac?_ I own a PC but my flatmates have Macs so I know how slick they are but I love my laptop so I have to say PC.  
_What phone do you have?_ I have a white iPhone 4S with a sexy Doctor Who cover I found on etsy.  
_How tall are you?_ I am 5"10" which is ridiculously tall. Almost Miranda standard, I could be a model..." I laughed awkwardly finishing of the questions,  
"So, there you go. I'm literally so boring but congratulations on sitting through that monstrosity."  
I flicked off the camera and uploaded the footage to my laptop. I edited out some of the really horrific bits, but it didn't take to long. Before I knew it was being uploaded to YouTube, I opened up my blog and embed the video. I typed a little bit about the video and some explanation behind and clicked post.

"What to do for the rest of the day?" I asked to myself. I flicked on the telly, another rerun of Jeremy Kyle. Of course, I wasn't fucking watching it, I turned off the television.  
I opened up my laptop and googled, 'computer science jobs london' on a whim. A few results came up and browsed through a lot of them, I just really need something to do. There was a community college thing around the corner, maybe I could do a mini degree?  
No, I'm not going back to school, that'd be horrible. But it's not school, it's community college.  
I googled it. 3 month Media degree, computer skills required, sounds good. You know what, fuck it, I'm going to do it.  
I enrolled online and discovered the course started in March and ran till June, actually brilliant, better than normal school.  
Okay, next three months sorted, what next? ...It's 4 o'clock, wine time.  
I poured myself a glass of wine and looked out the already dark windows as I put on Bridget Jones' Diary.  
About half way through the movie Dan and Phil came back with Chris and PJ,  
"Where have you fuckers been? I've been bored shitless all day." I said, Dan laughed and kissed my forehead.  
"And it's nice to see you too!" He said.  
"Chris, PJ!" I cried, getting up off the sofa to welcome them, "It's lovely to see you lads!"  
"I saw you was going out with danisnotonfire." Chris said in a creepy perverted stalker voice.  
"Of course you did..." I smiled and turned to PJ, "PJ! How are you?" I asked.  
"Oh never better Olivia, never better!" He said,  
"That's good anyone care for a drink?" I asked. They all nodded. "Where've you been all day?"  
"We had a meeting at YouTube HQ, where we bumped into these two and we brought them home." Dan explained.  
"That's nice darling!" I replied


	21. Chapter 21: Parental Comments

"Ha! You filmed a video!" Dan shouted in my ear when I eating breakfast the next morning.  
"Yeah I did, and it was a bit crap." I replied, shovelling some more rice krispies into my mouth.  
"It was good for a first try!" He said.  
"That basically means crap!" I laughed as he sat next to me.  
"Your room is fantastically interesting!" PJ said.  
"Is that meant to be sarcastic?" I asked.  
"Well sort of yes, but mostly no. You play guitar?" He questioned.  
"Used to, well not really, I can play basic chords. It was my brothers." I replied.  
"Oh that's cool." He said. He pulled two bowls out of the cupboard and poured some cereal into them, he chucked a spoon in one and passed it to Chris as he walked out of my room,  
"So nice of you to lend us your room Oli." Chris said with a smirk as he sat down opposite me.  
"And?" I asked, knowing he had a point to make.  
"So where you did sleep then?" He asked, in fake innocence.  
"You know where the fuck I slept." I answered, he burst into laughter.  
"I'm glad the lad has managed to seduce you finally." He said.  
"Finally?" I questioned.  
"Oh he's pining for you for years! Since before I knew the poor bugger." Chris replied before practically shovelling the entire bowl down his throat.  
"You should start paying for food round here, I'm coming to your house to inhale your cupboards!" I said, watching him put the practically empty bowl down on the table.  
"Sure! I've got huge cupboards, cupboards so high you won't be able to reach them!" He replied.  
"Any cupboard you can reach, so can I. You're only a few inches taller than me!" I informed him.  
"Yeah I forgot everyone in this house was taller than average." He said.

"Chrisos!" PJ called. "We best be going, we have things to do, people to see, anus's to destroy."  
"No problem Mr. Kendall!" I replied, giving him a hug.  
"Do I get one?" PJ asked as he appeared behind me.  
"Course you do!" I answered, leaning up for a hug. "See you both soon!" I called as the door shut behind them.

I was prepared for the day and all clean and dressed, Dan pulled me back into his chest from behind me,  
"Check your video comments." He whispered into my ear. I looked at him and opened the laptop on the table,  
'_Nice first video.' _  
_'Wow, you have great music taste!' _

_'omg we are so alike :)' _

_'You aren't as interesting as Dan says' _

"The last one was a bit iffy." I said.  
"But look at the rest of them!" He said.  
"Sure they are nice, but I'm not a YouTube person, I have no time." I said.  
"You complained yesterday about being bored!" He protested.  
"Yes, so I signed up for a media course at the community college and that starts in March, so!" I informed him.  
"Oh, media!" Dan said, suprised.  
"Yes, media. Maybe I can get a job working for a film editing suite or a YouTube office worker." I thought.  
"That'd be perfect for you, but not as perfect as me!" He added cheekily.  
"Smooth, Danny boy, smooth." I replied.  
"I've told you not to call me that!" He cried.  
"Oh, what Danny boy?" I asked mockingly. "Danny boy! Daaannnnyyy boy!" I jumped up and ran behind the kitchen to hide from Dan. He chase me around the living room.  
"Danny boy!" I said as I darted past him. Phil walked in with a camera and looked at me standing on the couch in a defensive position while Dan tired to grab me around the waist.  
"Danny boy!" I chanted again.  
"Here we have the love birds playing chasey!" Phil announed to his camera. Dan took advantage of Phil distracting me with the camera,  
"Gotcha!" He cried as he threw me over his shoulder. Dan ran over to Phil and shoved my legs in the camera.  
"Danny boy, put me down!" I cried.  
"Have Oli's lanky legs Phil's camera!" Dan shouted. Dan swung me off his shoulder and into his arms,  
"Why thank you Danny boy!" I said, stretching my neck up for a kiss.  
"I rescued the damsel in distress!" He looked so proud of himself.  
"Well it wasn't too distressing so don't worry." I reassured him. I hopped down and ran back to the sofa here Dan sat next to me and we watched the horribly crap telly reruns for the rest of the morning.

"Olivia Claire Oswald Lester Howell get your arse up!" Dan shouted.  
"Sorry what Daniel James Howell Lester Oswald?" I shouted back.  
"You, me and Philip Michael Lester Howell Oswald have to clean the house!" Dan shouted back.  
"What! Why?" I shouted.  
"Phil's and my parents are going to be here in an hour!" He came into the room and explained.  
"Your parents?" I asked.  
"Yes, they heard Phil's were visiting and thought they might pop in too."  
"Well you clean and I'll get dressed and then I'll make some food, alright?" I said.  
"I'm making food, you can help Phil hide the DVDs, CDs and video games." He said.  
"Okie dokie!" I jumped out of bed and followed Dan into the living room where Phil was tidying the kitchen and shelves.  
"I''ll start with the shit under the telly!" I said.  
"Good idea!" Phil said. I grabbed the massive box of video games and grabbed the ones that were lying around the floor and around the house and shoved them into the box, I found a suitable place on top of Phil's wardrobe to shove it. I had all the CDs stacked up in the shelf beside the telly when I noticed the time,  
"We've got 10 minutes, I'm just gonna get dressed." I said, leaving just DVDs for cleaning.  
I walked into my room and shoved everything in the bottom of my wardrobe, I fished out a pair of red tights and my dark brown winter shorts, I grabbed floral-ly camisole type thing I'd bough from Topshop recently and tucked that into my shorts. I found my navy blue cardigan that was like 2 sizes to big and rolled the sleeves up to just above my wrists, I put my watch on so I didn't look like I had an eating disorder. I applied some mascara and went for a little flick out at the end with my eye liner, I walked back into the living room and put the remaining DVDs in the massive plastic container underneath the TV.  
"There space underneath my bed for that, I'll help you carry it." Dan said.  
He grabbed the other side of the container and we shuffled off to his bedroom, we were just in the door when we heard the doorbell ring. We looked at each other and tried to move a bit faster, that didn't even fucking work. I tripped over something on the floor and dropped the container on Dan's foot.  
"Holy Fucking Shit!" He cried.  
"Jesus Christ, sorry about that!" I said back, probably a little too loudly.  
"Come on, let's just finish up." He ran his hand through his hair, making it a bit messy. We got down and pushed the crate underneath the bed, as it finally slid under the bed Dan slumped onto the floor making a large thump and a groan.  
I pulled him up and ruffled his hair, I took my hair out of the bun and let it fall messy across my back as I walked through the doorframe. Dan's parents were standing there with very suspicious looks on their faces, Dan must have realised what the grunting and swearing must have sounded like to somebody who wasn't in the room.  
"Oh shit." He said. I leaned into his shoulder, laughing my head off.  
"Hi Mum, Dad!" He said.  
"Hi Dan's parents!" I said.  
"Oh Olivia is that you? It's been so long. You look the same, you've just shot up." Dan's mum gushed.  
"Look like Dan's found somebody who isn't completely out of proportion to him." Mr Howell remarked.  
"Phil is pretty tall." I said.  
"We've entered the house of the giants." Dan's dad said, walking in and sitting on the sofa.  
"Good Morning Mr. Howell, it's been a while." I said, putting my hand out for a handshake.  
"7 years, I think." He said, shaking my hand.  
"Olivia, it's amazing to see you again. I'm sure Dan is very glad to have you back." Mrs Howell said, leaning in for a hug. I bent me knees and hugged Mrs Howell back. I smirked at Dan and gave him a cheeky grin.  
"You've grown so tall!" She remarked, "When did that happen?!" She asked incredulously.  
"When I was about 16, I just grew." I said. "5"10" last time I checked." I muttered.  
"Would you like some tea?" Phil came out with some mugs in his hand.  
"Oh Phil, your parents texted to say that there were some delays up north so they'll be here soon." Mrs Howell said.  
"Thanks." Phil replied, walking back into the kitchen.  
"How's life lads?" Dan's dad asked, "and Lady." He quickly added.  
"Don't worry, I'm used to it." I said.  
"It's all good Dad. I haven't burnt down the house yet!" Dan answered.  
"Good! Have you got a job yet?"  
"Uh no, I do the YouTube thing, that's my job." Dan explained.  
"Ah yes! Have any of you got a proper job?" Mr Howell asked again.  
"I work at Pizza Express if that counts?" I replied, hesistantly. "I'm doing a media course round the corner though so I think I'll be able to fin some work then, maybe I can get Dan and Phil to pull some strings up at YouTube and I can get a office job." I laughed.  
"Sounds good!" Mr Howell replied.  
"So Dan have scared off all the girls in London yet?" Mr Howell asked, breaking a awkward tea drinking silence. I laughed and leaned into his shoulder,  
"Well not all of them Dad." Dan replied, sending me into more laughter.  
"Is Olivia alright?" He asked.  
"Oh yeah she's fine!" Dan replied.  
"Is there something going on between you?" Mr Howell asked when I rolled my head into Dan's chest before uprighting myself.  
"Well yeah, I didn't scare her off. She's my girlfriend." He answered.  
"Oh finally Daniel!" Mrs Howell looked from here tea and exclaimed.  
"Why does everyone always say that?" I muttered.  
"Me and your mum have been betting on this for years!" Mrs Howell confessed.  
"Really?" Dan asked.  
"Oh yes, ever since you offered to walk her home when you were eight." Dan's mum said.  
"I didn't realise Dan was such a gentlemen?!" Phil said incredulously.  
"I'm actually a very polite and chivalrous man." Dan replied, "Oli would agree." He turned to me.  
"Yes, he's very gentlemanly!" I said sarcastically. Dan elbowed me playfully.  
"Oh you're sure?" Phil asked.  
"Yes." Me and Dan replied in unison. Quite coincidently there was knock on the door.  
"That'll be Mr & Mrs Lester!" I jumped and went to answer the door.  
"Oh sorry have we go the wrong house?" The woman I assumed was Mrs Lester said.  
"No, no I'm Olivia Oswald, I don't think we've met." I held out my hand. Mrs Lester took it gently,  
"Oh you live with Phil and Dan, don't you?" She asked.  
"Yeah, they're just in here!" I said opening the door fulling and letting them both in.  
"Phil!"  
"Mum! Dad!" I heard from the kitchen.  
"Hello Daniel, hello Daniel's parents, hello to the pretty girl at the door whose name I've forgotten." Phil's dad announced to the room.  
"That'll be Olivia." Dan said.  
"Is she your girlfriend?" Mr Lester asked.  
"Yeah." He replied.  
"Good on you. Phil still has some searching to do before he finds a special lady." Mr Lester said, patting Phil on the back.  
"I'm sure it won't take him long." I grinned at Phil.  
"So to our children!" Mr Howell said, holding up his mug.  
"And Olivia, who's practically my daughter anyway." Mrs Howell said. I smiled at her and then at Dan, chinking my mug with everyone elses.


	22. Chapter 22: Like, Actually Nick Grimshaw

**"Aren't you fantastically glad that my parents like you?" Dan asked the next morning.  
"I knew they already liked me." I replied. "Your mum said I was practically her daughter, does that make me your sister?" I asked.  
"That's a horrific thought. Maybe more like daughter-in-law?" He said with a wink.  
"Calm down it's only been a couple of weeks." I replied. He grinned and kissed me.  
"16 years, really." He corrected.  
"You've got to stop pulling the childhood friends thing." I said, shaking my head in mock disappointed.  
"I just no for certain that we aren't taking it to fast cause I've known you forever." Dan said.  
"Of course." I said, kissing him on the cheek and swanning out of the room. **

The next month or so passed without much change, Dan and I continued our very passionate love affair and by passionate I mean filled with cute kisses and late night chats and absolutely no sauciness whatsoever.  
I started my media course a couple of weeks back and it was actually brilliant, it was mostly video editing and using computer suite music tools and designing websites for promotional use. I've actually learnt quite a lot.  
Dan has been working on more videos and collaborations with our little London crew, the house has become YouTube central. I've been hanging out with Carrie and Alex who've been teaching me about the music business and all the editing and touching up that goes into the process, Alex took a look at a couple of my projects and said I could help work on his next music video if I wanted. Carrie has basically become a best friend, we sing duets and sit around watching our boys, it's a perfect friendship.  
I may or may not have started a YouTube thing, I use YouTube as the video sharing software but I still post them on my blog as the main platform. The blog takes priority, always.  
So basically it's April now and I'm filming for my half-term media project, I've enlisted the help of Carrie, Dan, Phil and Jack and Finn. Who are basically my worst nightmare but also possibly the coolest people on the planet.  
"Jack, Finn! Stay out of shot, please!" I shouted the cheeky twins who kept photo-bombing.  
"I can keep them under control if you like?" Carrie asked, menacingly. It really didn't suit her, I burst out laughing. Soon we were all laughing.  
Eventually I got Dan and Phil doing what they were supposed to be doing, Carrie played the part spectacularly and Jack and Finn got their camera time.  
We got out of the train stop a couple of blocks from the house, we walked through the front door and Dan and Phil rushed to get ready for the radio show,  
"Come on, we're leaving." Dan said.  
"What I'm staying here, I need to edit the film." I protested.  
"You can edit it at the studio." Dan said, kissing me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door.  
We arrived at the studios and I sat in the little sofa area bit before you go into the studio with my laptop.  
I opened it up and began editing away, looking through the glass window to peek glances at Dan every now and again, we'd share secret little looks while he could.  
Challenge Dan and Phil arrived. I tried to stay out of shot but I couldn't help but cheer and laugh and them make a fool of themselves, they gave me many dirty looks.

The finally finished their show, I closed up my laptop and made sure I had my work saved. I wasn't letting a 1/3 of the editing be lost. I shoved it in my bag and linked arms with Dan.  
"Nice show boys." I said.  
"Thank you very much." Phil replied. I accidently knocked shoulders with someone who's hair was bright pink and styled up into a quiff.  
"Sorry!" I apologised.  
"Oh no problem love." The man replied. "Grimmy." He held his hand for a shake.  
"Olivia Oswald." I shook his hand.  
"Hi boys." Grimmy said to Dan and Phil, "Nice show by the way, I just need to clear up something for tomorrow."  
"Okay see you round!" Dan replied.  
"Nice to meet you Oswald." Grimmy said before turning round the corner and leaving.  
We were out the door and on our way home when I turned to them both and just said,  
"Did I just meet Nick Grimshaw?"  
"Yes, you did." Phil answered.  
"Holy shit, that's weird. That's actually weird, I'm like one degree away from Harry Styles. Nick Grimshaw is like a proper UK Celebrity, that's weird. I actually listen to Grimmy." I rambled.  
"Once you get to know him he's actually pretty cool." Dan said.  
"You know Nick Grimshaw?" I asked.  
"What do you think we do every Sunday afternoon and when we go into the BBC, we know most of the DJs." Dan said.  
"Yeah cause you are actual radio DJs aren't you?" I said, incredulously. God, I'm such a starstruck twat.  
They both laughed at my hopelessness as we walked through the front door and flopped into our respective beds.


	23. Chapter 23: Well, You Know

I continued my existence all the way until the end of term when the man at community college handed me my shiny piece of paper saying I had minor degree in media. We had a small party in the house where the three basically had a glass of wine, ordered Chinese and watched movies until two in the morning. But isn't that the best kind of party.  
I posted some of my funny little movies with Dan and Phil and all my YouTube friends in them on my channel, I'm sure the internet would be interested in them. I was a little hesitant about posting the one of me singing, but I was so proud of the video and audio editing I thought, 'fuck it,' and clicked upload. That brought my total number of videos up to about 7.  
Phil has gone to visit his parents for a week, while everyone is on Summer Holidays.  
I was sad about the end of the cold but Dan didn't particularly agree,  
"Yay, no more horrible snow!" He cried as the first day of July came around.  
"We're already a month into summer," I told him.  
"That means there definitely shouldn't be any snow!"  
"But snow is good, snow means cold and cold means jumpers and jeans and snuggly socks."  
"But summer means beach and swimming and mexican tanning."  
"Oh god, you and your mexican roots. I'm going to send you to Mexico."  
"I'd love to go, Aloha Me is Mexican.." He attempted a Mexican accent, key word there is attempted. "Let's no talk about that accent ever again." I laughed at his disappointment in himself.  
"Gladly." I replied.  
"So Phil's not here, what should we do?" Dan asked.  
"I think you know exactly what you want to do." I said, looking up into Dan's eyes.  
"I thought you'd never ask." Dan pulled me close into him and kissed my lips,  
"Maybe we should go somewhere more comfortable?" Dan suggested. I nodded and linked my finger with his and dragged him towards my bedroom. Dan slammed himself against the door, shutting it and pulling me close to him, our lips meeting again.  
I was up on my tip toes my lips moving in rhythm with Dan's, his hands clamped around my waist and my wrists knotted around his neck. Dan spun me round and pushed me onto the bed, his face hovering over mine for a moment before lowering hs face down to meet mine, my hands found his and the knotted together above our heads as we continued to kiss passionately. Our hands broke free as I let my fingers roam through his hair. His hands made their way down to my legs and began to push the hem of my dress further up my leg. My fingers fumbled with the hem of his t-shirt and I pushed it up revealing a pale stomach with just the hint of a little round tummy forming between his hipbones. Dan looked at me and pushed his shirt over his head, I was so overcome by love for this boy I pushed myself up to kiss him,  
"If you want to?" I told him, I needn't detail what I meant.  
"Only if your sure." He replied. I pushed the strap of my dress onto my shoulder and whispered,  
"Yes," against his lips before lightly kissing them once more, Dan grabbed my waist and pulled on top of him. His eyes shining and his smile as widest as it could with the knowledge of what was to happen next.

The next morning I grabbed Dan's t-shirt that was lying on the floor next to my bed and pulled it over me.  
"Good morning." I whispered, removing a strand of hair from his eye as they began to flutter open.  
"I love you." His voice was hoarse from sleep.  
"And I, you." I replied, dipping my head down for a light kiss.


	24. Chapter 24: Wine and Why

There was a candle lit on the kitchen table and two bowls of stir-fry were sitting on the coffee table in front of the sofa. The TV was blaring the re-run of Broadchurch, the TV show I fell in love with and forced Dan to watch and for my sake he enjoyed it too.

I had a glass of wine in my hand and the other was intertwined with Dan's.  
"If you were a type of sauce what would you be?" I asked, still giggling at the last question he had asked me.  
"Hot sauce!" He replied with a smirk, I laughed at his ridiculous expression.  
"Come on though really!" I whined.  
"Horseradish, because only a few people really appreciate me."  
"Oh that was deep!" I replied, taking of sip from my glass.  
"Okay, sort of feelings do you have towards penguins?" He asked, I laughed horrendously at the sheer obscurity of the question.  
"Well they'd be much better if they waddled around in a bow tie and suit." I replied.  
"What about if waddled around in a suit?"  
"Well then you'd be irresistable!" I laughed, "Ooh, would you rather become a pepperami man or eat soggy, moist, jaffa cakes for the rest of your life?"  
"You horrible human being, you can't do that." He cried, I laughed at his tough choice to make, "I think it would have to be pepperami." He decided.  
"Very nice, you've already got the figure, you just need to check meaty, splotchy and hot off your list!" I took a sip from glass and watched Dan's expressions become more and more hilarious.  
"Marry me." He said.


	25. Chapter 25: Imagine, Boners

**"No, Dan, no." I replied immediately, putting my glass down on the table.  
"Okay, no it's just, I know why you said no. It's far to early, you were right to say no." He rambled.  
"I'm glad you think so." I said. "You are 22. You can only just drink in America, you're job is the internet and you like in a flat in North London with your girlfriend of 6 months and best friend of 4 or so years. I don't think you are in any position to be getting married and growing up and having children." **

"I didn't mean to, I, you looked so, sitting there just talking about stuff with a glass of wine in your hand and you fingers interlaced with mine. It seemed as the world was at peace for a moment, like everything was as it should be just for that moment and I couldn't help but think that I wanted it to be like that forever, so 'Marry me' was the only appropriate thing I thought to say at that moment." He explained. "But we can get married someday?" He asked quietly.  
"I'm certain we will get married one day. We can have beautiful wedding, with all of our friends their. I'll be in my white dress and you'll be in your suit and we can dance and be merry with our friend until the wee hours of the morning." I imagined.  
"And then we'll come back to this flat and we'll have sex in every single room, including Phil's. I'll wake up every morning and roll over to see you there and I'll say 'Good morning Mrs. Howell' then you'll push me out of bed and we'll have toast and tea. Phil will sit with us in the lounge and nothing will have changed it'll just be us laughing and teasing but then I'll take you back to our room and we will cuddle and sleep." Dan said, a glint in his eyes and grin on his lips.  
"One day, maybe I'll get pregnant and you'll have your hand on my stomach until we come back to this flat with a little baby in our hands, maybe a girl, maybe a boy but it won't matter because we will love them no matter what. Phil will their live-in Uncle and you can teach them the ways of the internet and maybe I'll teach them to cook. But our little baby will grow up, they'll go out into the world and be their own adult and we might have our own house by then, and we'll sit their when we're old and have conversation like this and then one day when we are really, really old. We'll drift into the darkness, maybe still holding each other's hand." I finished.  
"You made that really depressing." Dan whined, squeezing my hand.  
"But that is the story of Mr and Mrs Howell." I said.  
"It wasn't too bad." Dan replied cheekily, kissing my nose.  
"Now it's time for you to go to bed, you've had a big day Danny boy." I said, pulling him up.  
"Only if your there." He pouted.  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world darling." I replied, pulling him and along the hallway and flopping down onto the bed. I snuggled my way down into his and pushed myself as close as could.  
"God Ols, don't be a tease, you're giving me a boner." He announced, I laughed.  
"Well if that's giving you a boner, then you've got no chance when I'm actually trying." I replied.  
"I wouldn't mind, you've already started." He said.  
"Is that you're cheeky way of trying to get laid?" I asked.  
"Only if it's working!" He replied.  
"It most certainly isn't!" I twisted round and pecked him on the lips before going back to what I was doing.  
Snuggling as close as I could and pulling the duvet tight. Dan wasn't kidding, though. I could feel his semi-boned dick erupting from his trousers.


	26. Chapter 26: Officially Mine

One year and nine months had passed.  
I was sitting alone in the flat in London, I had a bowl of crisps on the table and the TV blaring.  
Dan was probably out with Phil, I hoped he didn't come back until I'd managed to fall into a deep sleep.  
I'd managed to avoid him for last two months fairly effectively, you know because I was working in Manchester. I had been offered a fantastic job and well, I needed to move to Manchester.  
People say that when you have a break up you just eat ice cream and gain weight but I just haven't bothered to get up and make food so I just look like a anorexic, pale thing. I can see why we broke up.  
I still had my key and most of my stuff was still in my room, I walked in about 5 minutes ago. I didn't check in any of the rooms and just sat down on the sofa.  
I wished I had checked the rooms as I heard a large, singular snore from the direction of the bedrooms.  
I jumped and walked into the hallway, I looked into each of the bedrooms. There was a long lump lying in my bed, the duvet cuddled around it and a soft, brown, curly top of a head peeking out from the pillows.  
"Dan?!" I said incredulously.  
"Hm, what?" I jumped and rolled over to look at me.  
"My bed, really?" I asked.  
"I thought you were in Manchester?" He asked.  
"Well not for much longer." I replied.  
"You twat! Did you quit your job just so you get back together with your dickhead of a ex-boyfriend who didn't realise that a job was more important?" He said.  
"No. I didn't but great job on calling yourself a dickhead." I replied, "I'm here because my boss recommended me for a job at the BBC so I'll be needing my bed back."  
"Your back?" He asked excitedly.  
"Why you so excited?" I asked.  
"I need to apologise."  
"Damn right, you do!"  
"I realise that trying to keep you here was a dick move. That job was amazing and you really deserved it, I was being ridiculously selfish. I thought you'd find someone better or not want to come back to me, or something horrific. I just wanted you to myself and for you to stay here, I thought maybe we'd be properly together til death or something cheesy like that." He said, getting up and grabbing my hand.  
"That was beautiful Dan, but it doesn't mean you're forgiven." I replied coldly.  
"I hope I can earn your forgiveness back," He kissed my forehead and before leaving the room he added, "And maybe your love, as well."  
"Dan, you never lost my love." I replied, softly back. I don't think he heard me and as I got into bed a lone tear rolled down my cheek.

I woke up in the morning and went down to make myself a cup of tea.  
Dan was in the kitchen, already making me one,  
"Thanks." I muttered, taking the mug he offered me.  
"Just one question, how do I earn your forgiveness?" He asked.  
"Do something exceptional." I smiled softly.  
"I can't just sweep you into my arms and kiss you now?" He asked, hopefully.  
"Without consent, that's borderline rape." I replied, deadpan.  
"An exceptional deed, it is then." He whispered as I left the kitchen.  
From the corner of my eye, I saw him grasp his hand tightly around a small box in his hand.

I didn't talk to Dan much, the only proper conversation I had with him since the kitchen was about a week ago.  
I asked him where Phil was, apparently he went on an Asian holiday with his parents and should be back in two months.  
We only passed each other leaving our rooms and on our way to work.  
My BBC job gave me Monday and Friday off, so I sat with the guitar my brother had given me and practised a song I had been learning, I strummed lightly and hummed along before singing the lyrics softly,  
_Cradle me  
I'll cradle you  
I'll win your heart  
with a woop-a-woo  
pulling shapes just for your eyes  
so with toothpaste kisses and lines  
I'll be yours and you'll be_

Lay with me, I'll lay with you  
we'll do the things that lovers do  
put the stars in our eyes  
and with heart shaped bruises  
and late night kisses  
divine

As I continued the chords, I heard a whistling from the doorway in time with music.  
"Lovely." Dan said.  
I got up and tried to walk back to my room, his hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me towards him,  
"You've been back 3 weeks now. You're wasting away and I don't like it. You purposefully avoid me, I was your best friend and your lover. You can't just throw away the year and seven months that we woke up together and told each other 'I love you' You can't do that. If you had dropped dead I would have been prepared to die for you, if someone had proposed to you, I would have been prepared to get down on one knee and give another option, in fact I was." I saw him pull a little dark blue velvet box from his pocket.  
"I asked your Dad, that's why I didn't want you to leave. I was ready to settle down and give all the other females trying to throw themselves at me up but you decided to up your sticks to Manchester. So can you stop playing games with me and tell me how you really feel because I know that I love you to pieces." He finished, his hand holding both of mine firmly.  
"Dan Howell, I never stopped loving you, you selfish bastard." I smirked and squeezed his hands reassuringly. "You didn't look at one girl, the whole two months I was away?" I asked.  
"It was only ever you." He replied. I stretched up and kissed his lips, he grabbed me round the waist and spun me around before putting me back on my feet.  
He dropped to one knee and brought out the little dark blue velvet box.  
"Olivia Oswald, would you do me the greatest honour in all of time and make me your husband, finally?" He asked.  
"We only just got back together." I said.  
"But you said that your feelings had never changed. Would you've been prepared to marry me two months ago?" He asked.  
"I would have been prepared to marry the moment you first kissed me." I replied truthfully.  
"Well then, Olivia Oswald, will you marry me?" He asked, again.  
"Yes, Daniel James Howell, I will."  
He slid the delicate, gold ring adorned with a single diamond onto my finger and kissed my hand before sweeping me into his arms and heading off towards the bedroom.

I flipped the sheet around my naked body when I woke up in the morning.  
"Good morning my soon-to-be Mrs Howell." Dan smirked as I tried to get up. I pulled on of his t-shirts and my underwear back on before leaning over the bed to kiss him.  
"Just think, you'll be officially mine soon."


End file.
